Let Go

4ptH8KnTjSY It’s time to let go of the past and open my heart to a new life and to new love, I can no longer live on promises that fly with the wind or hopes that are choked by the sour words of supposed love. It is time for me to be me and live my life the way I used to. I am uncontrollable and I like it that way as I do not attempt to control anyone else. We are individuals for the sole purpose of growth or we would be clones and I refuse to be a clone or follow another.

I do not need to pull the “I am woman hear me roar” bullshit, no I just move along the path of life that is in front of me and do what I have to to get where I need to be. There is no laughter in my life and there needs to be, yes laughter is the key to a happy heart and easy mind. I tend to give to much of myself to others and receive nothing in return, but isn’t that what giving is all about? Not expecting a return-this is not the stock market no this is our lives.

There is one man on this earth that has my heart in the palm of his hand and he has crushed it several times but it still beats and beats for him only. I love his laugh and his smile and the gentle nature that surrounds him. He understands me and he actually “gets me” which is so cool as I am an emotional kaleidoscope and he can fit all the colors into a beautiful picture, I know not how he does it but he quiets my restless soul and he give me peace within.

He is my angel and we are meant to be together and he will see one day that he can no longer avoid the truth in his own heart. I do not wait any longer for him as my life is moving forward to fast and I have to redefine Kimberly. He is fast and he will catch up in time but I have much Kimberly work to do and besides now I have the new title of jailbird Kimberly and I really don’t mind as it wasn’t uncomfortable and I got a kick out of taking a piss in my cell when they walked over to finger print me, ya they had to wait until the drip dry session came to the last drip. Sometimes, I can be such a bitch and enjoy myself as I did in jail.

As I woman I assume I was suppose to scream and cry as well as panic but as in any emergency I was as calm as a cucumber and polite, no need to be nasty to the cop that handcuffed but not to tight as he knows Im on blood thinners and bruise as easily as a peach. I am forced to use the “tough love” card on my son and I hope our legal system willl help me, this isn’t fun for me or makes my life easier but my son has a cocky Aquarius attitude that needs to be straightened out and I will be the one to do it. So he is going to hate me? Boo hoo for me I guess because I have the ability to reduce my fifteen year old son to a five year old crying out for his mommy. Mommy won’t answer this time though because RyGuy needs to learn that his wit, charm and humor will only go so far and he will never get through life on those qualities alone.

I’m heading to my rv Thursday and not looking back until Tuesday- my daughter will either be at friends or at home where she rightfully belongs but the campground has become to much for her. We both suffer from allergies and we tend to have difficulty at the campground as far as itchy eyes, sneezing, coughing ect. so I will go it alone and clean up the place and take an evening ride on the golf cart enjoying the sunset and mild breeze. I will plant a herb garden, cut the grass, clean the carpeting, wash the bedding and make myself a simple dinner take a warm shower and crawl into bed naked and exhausted but loving every minute of it.

I do not need company as my own company is enough to handle at times-I have friends that stop by and it is a warm feeling to see them year after year. The campground is a peaceful place except for holiday weekends when everyone gets drunk and wild and my panties end up in the tree, ya I have a wild side when I drink, which is not to often because I tend to get naked and dance in the streets. The thought of running and hiding at the campground is rather enticing and I know I am closer to God when I am there. One can be wild and crazy and still have a deep faith that is untouchable and that is how I live my  life.

It would be lovely if the one I love were there to escape from his world but I hold not my breath and I pray to God to send him to me and when the time is right I have no doubt my prayers will be answered. You cannot fight destiny or fate no matter how hard you try it just cannot be done so I do know we will one day be together and become one as it is written in the stars. I love this man with ever fiber of my being and have tried to forget him with no luck. I believe he is waiting for the green light of approach as the signal that I am ready to unite with him and he has been smart enough to stay away while I take care of business. It is time for both of us to get happy and make whoopy, it is time for us to give each other what we need and it is time for us to be happy, so let us rejoice and be happy finally.

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