I once had a doctor tell me that some people are toxic and we must rid them of our lives and that is the best advice I have ever gotten. I see a counselor and she asked me why I hang on to people that do nothing to improve my life and my answer surprised me. I hang on because I have always wanted to be loved and when it is detrimental to me I hang on tighter, which of course only brings me pain and unhappiness. I am a dreamer who used to believe that I would be saved by a knight in shining armor but I have since let that dream go with the wind and I have finally excepted the fact that my dreams don’t and never will come true.
I am able to let people go that serve no purpose in my life and I am able to no longer look back but look ahead and I do not live for tomorrow but only for today. I have given my heart to others that do not care and are never there when I need them and that has been unhealthy for me and I have finally realized that holding on to something or someone that offers you nothing is damaging and I do not need to be further damaged. People want what they can’t have or won’t go the distance for and that is no longer me as I have finally started to appreciate myself and my finer qualities I have to offer others and I have a right to be treated well.
For many years I went through each day on auto pilot but then I woke up and found that I was so miserable that I couldn’t even do auto pilot, so I made a move which was difficult and painful but rewarding in the end. I do not look to others to make me happy as only I can make me happy and it’s my decisions that bring me what I need and the people I need as well. You can bring a horse to water but cannot make him drink is so true, people are the same way as you can tell them what to do about a situation but unless they act you have wasted your words and people do not like change or giving up possessions, that is just the way most are.
We put ourselves in a living hell but refuse to open the door and walk through it into another place that is called happiness, we prefer to be stead fast in not moving put complaining and wonder why our lives do not change for the better. There are women who will wait for a man to marry them, support them, give them a family and stay with them forever but they forget it is a two way street and when the flame goes to a flicker they do nothing about it. When the flicker is gone they wonder what happened, where the love went, where the happier times went and they refuse to see they didn’t take care of the one that had taken care of them.
There are men who want a show piece as a wife, a fuck machine, an excellent cook and they get caught up in making money and their position in life, they forget the woman at home and find entertainment through other women, as they become bored with the “perfect wife” and want excitement in their sex life. They look at their wives in a way that would not be appropriate to open their sex lives up and introduce new and exciting sexual experiences.
All of us want to be loved and to laugh and enjoy life but very few will take the step to get there and we lose some of the greatest experiences we could have that would make life a pure joy to wake up to everyday. If you want everyday to be a sunny one then you have to wipe away the tears from the thunderclouds first, are you strong enough to do that? If you are you will find the happiness you deserve and so desire. Be who you are supposed to be not the person others expect you to be, live for yourself and today and enjoy what life is offering you.