Relationships

Women, your man will fuck another woman if you don’t keep your sex life exciting and that is a given, there is no man who will not fuck another woman if his wife won’t fuck him and I guarantee it. Instead of him fucking someone else, why not bring in a third-party to spice up your sex life and keep your man at home? spontaneity is the key and an open mind is so important as are the use of sex toys and getting a bit kinky.

A woman who won’t at least try new sexual acts is a woman who is going to see her husband fuck another I know a man who has fucked more women than there are fans at a final soccer match and believe me when I say he has fucked himself silly as he truly has. It is not a secret to his wife and they both know it but hey ya gotta please your man and that is that, after a woman has children she is no longer  “tight” and that takes away the pleasure for a man. Men like that tight feeling as it makes their cock get stimulated and they enjoy the sex more, so women at least try to please your man by putting your ass in the air and trying a little play time in that area.

The man I speak of I may never meet but if I do and we have a relationship he no doubt will want to fuck another eventually which will not fly with me. I prefer to keep our sex life exciting and fresh and whatever we both want to try we will do as you never know what you might actually enjoy unless you try it. I do not know why women have so many sexual hang ups but being sexually free would reduce the divorce rate tremendously.

The Firsts Are Over

Today is my eighteenth wedding anniversary and it has been a really hard day but I have kept busy doing things I like to do and I made two strawberry rhubarb pies. I like them but never made them because Bob didn’t like them, he never liked berry pies always cream pies and I was the exact opposite. I refused to go to the cemetery as it hurts me so much and he doesn’t deserve to see how much pain I am in and I will not stand at his grave and cry.

I had saved him countless times and that is literally as I had to call the EMS so many times I added them to auto-dial and I could have just let him die so many times but did not. Now I feel terrible because I couldn’t save him this last time no matter how many calls I would have made it wouldn’t have made a difference and that is what upsets me so, I wish I had the power to save him and I am so damn disappointed in myself for not being able to. I know that doesn’t make sense and no one could save him but I still feel that it was my responsibility to keep him alive and I failed.

This is the last of the firsts, the first Christmas, the first Anniversary yes this is the last of the firsts and I keep hearing him in my head saying ” I left so someone else could love you the way you need”,  I hear that over and over and he was a liar when he was alive and a liar still when he is dead. There is no one coming to make me happy and feel whole and I will not fall into that trap again, no way I told the man I love that I gave all the money my dad had away and I could hear the let down in his voice so I do not expect to see him as his world is about money and I no longer have any.

I gave all the money away to see if he would come to me and he won’t which just confirms what I have believed all along, he never loved me he just wanted more money. I am glad I know now because there is no point in pining over someone who doesn’t love you and never will so I just have to let go and move on down the road as I had planned. I start counseling tomorrow because I do not know how to let go of everyone that has died. My dad I miss him so and that bitch that sucked off him for years is trying to take what is rightfully mine and my children’s, I will see her in hell first as she put on such an act in front of my dad and acted like she liked me.

I knew she never did and I was always a threat to her being my dad’s child gives me rights and she has just been playing a fucking game and she is going to lose. My dad loved me and wanted me to have my great grandmothers and grandmothers things but the bitch thinks she is entitled to them. Not happening I will see to it my sister gets what she should as she is my sister and always will be and she has more memories and spent more time with my grandparents then I did. She should have never screwed me because I have screwed her right back and she will never know it, but she made her choice when she helped put my grandmother in her grave.

I really miss my husband as I have no one to confide in, no one to tell my troubles to, no one to laugh with even though we rarely laughed I still miss him. It would be so much easier if I would let someone in but the guy I have started to see is kind of strange and controlling which doesn’t work well with me, not one bit. I haven’t told him about my kids because I know he is just a temporary because there isn’t the magic I am looking for when he kisses me and he is a great kisser.  I don’t know if I will fuck him as I haven’t decided that yet but there is a possibility that I will take advantage of him but then again I do not know as he hasn’t got me excited enough as of yet and I hate his cologne. 

Denial

The best form of protection of the heart is denial, when we deny our true feelings we end up with an internal fight between yes and no and yes always wins when it comes to me. I love to deep and too truly and I am not wishy washy I just try to set aside matters of the heart for logic, which never wins in my case. I am emotional completely absorbed and ruled by me emotions. When I love someone I always want the best for them, I want to cover them with gifts and I want to see them happy, I want to please them, make them smile, make them laugh and make them feel great about themselves as I am not envious of anyone’s success but do enjoy watching them succeed.

I am a one woman man and have no desire to be with anyone else, I am always pushing the one I love to go the distance and take on any challenge that they may need to face to succeed and I do not take credit for their accomplishments as it is the person that has done the work, I am just the woman with the cattle prod that keeps pushing them when they feel they will not succeed. When you have someone that believes in you then you begin to believe in yourself and you can accomplish your goals.

I really enjoy being able to watch my friends grow and accomplish their dreams and I am always happy for them and congratulate them because there is no room for envy in my life and I just enjoy seeing my friends happy. I enjoy seeing people happy as it warms my heart and makes me feel good and I believe everyone needs to have that kind of support in their lives and so many do not. Everyone needs to have someone that loves them enough to tell them the truth and support them and their dreams.

Sweet

I have a friend that I have never met, he is special in a special way and he is a true friend to someone I hold dear to my heart. He is kind, gentle and a man of God and he seems to understand me almost as much as someone else. He has a baby girl that is a gift and she will change the world one day when she grows up and her dad and mom will be amazed at what their little girl will do for the world. Mouse is someone I want to me as she makes me laugh and she is so cute sounding and I bet she is as cute as can be.

People enter our lives and they bring with them gifts that are not of a material nature but more importantly they touch the heart with their words of kindness and love. It makes no difference what color we are  and it makes no difference if we are famous or poor but what makes the difference is what comes from the heart. What started out as a means to and end has turned into someone I care deeply for and I know he cares for me as a friend, we shall never be lovers as that is not what is meant to be but he is my friend and I hear his voice and just want to hug him and thank him for caring as he genuine in this feeling for me.

He can be trusted by his best friend and he would never sell him out or give away his deepest, darkest secrets and I admire that in him, I admire him just because he is himself when he talks to me and he always has kind words and words of strength for me when I am feeling low. There should be more people like him in this world because it would make this world a better place. I can see him holding is daughter and smiling and laughing as she smiles back and plays with his finger and teething on it. He must take special care with this little girl as she is going to rock his world and make her momma crazy. This little one has a will of steel and determination that is uncomparable-she is a show stopper and a beauty that shines like the sun and she awakens even the saddest soul and can break a hard man and make him want to coo and cuddle her.

My friend, I love you and want the best for you and your family and always will, tell mouse I miss her voice and how she makes me laugh so and I want you to know that I am always here for you no matter what and always will be. There are people of importance that come into my life and you and mouse are those people as we shall always be more than friends and the love will always be there and continue to grow through the years. I truly love you Frankie and I want you to know that and Mouse I love you as well but no I will not have sex with you. Hugs and Kisses to the three of you 

European Connect

I do not know when I became attracted to European men but American men have held no interest for me in years as they just do not have the “it” factor. American men take women for granted and most have not a clue what a gentleman is or how they should conduct themselves. European men tend to treat a woman like a woman and they respect women where the American man does not and they also do not appreciate a good woman. This is not to say there isn’t the rare American that does but I have yet to meet him and doubt that I ever will as he hides somewhere that I shall never travel too and I will not search for him.

The European man tends to place God above all and has a true respect for the power of our Lord and the miracles he performs everyday, they seem to have such respect for others and a gentleness about them that is not found in the States. I like most women find French to be so romantic when spoken and to have someone whisper anything in my ear in French is such a turn on, even though it has never happened to me, hell you could call me a dirty, nasty slut in french and I would get wet.

American men like their women thin with huge tits made of silicone and the European man doesn’t seem to think that way and they enjoy a woman for who she is not the image that is portrayed on tv here in America. Everyone thinks America is the land of opportunity, which it may be compared to other countries but we do not take care of our own, no we let the homeless and hungry stay homeless and hungry and those with mental illness do not have hospitals to take care of them and they become homeless as well. The Dr.s push pills because they get kickbacks from the pharmaceutical company’s and the drug of choice for the average housewife/working woman is xanax.

There are so many addicts of drugs, gambling and alcohol, sex and pedophilia it is sickening and I wish I could put sentence on every pedophilia there is as he would never experience another hard on as long as he lived and would have to learn to eat with his feet. To harm a child just infuriates me as my uncle was a touchy feely bastard and still is to this day, what a fuckwad is all I can say about him and I am glad I haven’t seen him since I was seven.

I have been through it all, molestation, rape, beaten, abused mentally and I am still standing and I do not let that hold me back, in fact I am so much stronger for it in many ways and I can understand and relate to any child in any situation as I have experienced most of it first hand. I have dealt with more loss than any one person should have to and I am still here to tell of it. Even the strongest do falter at times and need someone to lean on but I have no one but the damn wall so I sleep with my little dogs and Ms. Athena cuddles next to me every night and comforts me, Ms. Pandy is one hundred percent puppy and she is funny and playful, Sir Apollo hides all the time and comes out for a treat or when I leave the house as he loves to travel and Mr. Zeus thinks he all that and is the ruler of everyone else.

I have found sleeping with my babies to be more appealing than sleeping with a man born and raised in the U.S., I know that is sad but so true as most men do not have a clue on how to romance a woman or how to make a woman feel sexy and appealing. In my lifetime I have found most men cum and snore and that is it, there is no pleasure for the woman and I do not understand why men think it’s fine and dandy to get a blowjob but not go down on a woman.

American men are so crass and a perfect example is what occurred today at the auto store, I went in looking for a inch and one half socket and the asshole says that’s an awful big socket for such a pretty lady little lady like yourself, fuck you moron I was thinking and I told him “what is your problem, are you jealous because ten of your cocks could fit inside it?” that just him up and of course they didn’t have one that size and I had to go elsewhere. I am not afraid of anyone or anything and I do not appreciate being treated like some helpless old woman that needs some young inexperienced punk talking to me as if I was an idiot.

The biggest problem in America is taking religion out of the schools as anyone should still have the right to practice their personal faith anywhere at anytime, just like breastfeeding is made out to be disgusting and unacceptable in public. We have taken the body and turned it into an image that must be thin and covered at all times, I prefer to be healthy and naked at all times, thank you very much. I think sex should be spontaneous and exciting and everyone should get their panties out of a wad and open up to new and different sexual experiences at least once and the world would be a better place. Men are suppose to sew their seed and woman is suppose to carry his children, but it seems once a woman has a baby all her attention goes to raising the children and she forgets about her husband’s needs and of course then he goes looking for someone to please him and then his marriage goes south.

America is not the best place in the world but it is better than most and I am not proud to be an American as I once used to be, but it is my homeland and I haven’t been to enough other countries to judge or decide where I truly belong but I do know it is not U.S. as I have morals and beliefs that are no longer important to this nation. I seem to be inline more with the spanish speaking countries as I believe strongly in the power of God.