How To Untie

He is carefree and doesn’t want to be controlled or committed, he wants the freedom of the galloping horse in the country meadow without having the reins pulled him, yes this is the man I have fallen in love with but we are not a good match as I feel deeply about everything, I am one that lives off my emotions and he is one that lives off his thoughts. He needs his freedom as I do but he needs it more and cannot survive living under anyone’s thumb or control. He is not one to dance to anyone elses music and he cuts his own path in live regardless what others think as he believes in himself even when he is wrong he will continue to persevere.

I am the one that shows my love through cooking, walking on the beach hand in hand, romantic moments filled with passionate kisses and making love, I am a woman who puts the needs of the man I love first and want his happiness and want him to achieve his greatest dreams. I do not want to be in the spotlight, I do not want to be blinded by flashing bulbs or read about myself in the papers. I only want to spend my life with someone who truly loves me for me only, not who they can change me into. I am a tigress that can be tamed by the right man with the right words and the right moves and you are that man but I cannot continue to wait for days that will not come and you send me no signs just riddles.

If you let me love you, you will be astounded that you have lived so long without me there to show you how special moments can be in your life, let me show you how a simple sea shell can make you laugh and let me show you how making love to you can be an experience like no other. Don’t let me be a memory, don’t let me be the one that got away and please do not walk away from me but come to me and show me that you love me too, only if you do.

Maybe it is time for me to put you in the past and move on and remember you fondly, yes I believe it is time to do that as I have no sign from you that you care even the slightest for me and I cannot live with that, no I cannot live without your love and that is the way it is, that is the truth but you do not believe it and cannot imagine someone being in as much pain I am in at this very moment as my heart has been ran over by a huge semi and I have no one to confide in, no one that understands that my losses are not minimal and have affected me in such a way I can no longer even smile.

I need you, I need your soothing words, words of comfort that help me be strong again, words that help me get through another day, another moment in time and I need you to know that my life is wrapped around you and I do not know how to untie myself from you, no I do not know how to  untie myself from you, please do not ignore me but open my eyes to the truth whatever that may be as I have to know the truth and then I can move forward but not unless I know the truth. 

My Dreams of Past

I wanted to hug you so bad and show you how deep my love is but you are an image in my mind that will never appear before me and show me you love me too. You are but a dream of my past that has walked by me in a full room and you never even turned your head and looked at me as I am not pretty, I am not famous, I am not wealthy, I am just someone who really loves you just because you need me to love you like you should be loved by a woman.

I cannot give you what you need because only you can do that as it lies within you and all I want is to show you how to touch that place in your heart that holds your happiness for yourself but I cannot get close enough to you to share those moments that open the doors of your secrets. Do I mean anything to you at all? Am I just another woman who you have found mildly intriguing temporarily? Was I only a distraction for a while?  If you don’t care and don’t want to be with me then why do you follow me in the shadows? Why do you play games with me and try to confuse me? Do you not understand that I am not one of your groupies but a real woman who loves you like you have never been loved?

I don’t want to cause you pain or heartache, I don’t want to make you sad or feel less then a man and I do not want to sit back and watch you fall without lending you a hand to get back up. Do you not understand that what I feel for you is rare and not easily obtainable or does that not matter to you because you are quite happy with the others that lick your heels? My fondest wish is to hear you laugh and see you smile, feel your carefree body move to the motion of the waves. Your laughter is the greatest gift that I have had in so long that I want nothing else and there isn’t anything I pray for more than to see your smile but you won’t even grant me such a small request.

There’s a man inside of you trying to get out but he cannot find the door but I am on the other side waiting for you to open that door and come out and play, I want to meet that boy of your youth and I want to share special moments that cannot be bought, borrowed or stolen, how can you not understand that? How can you leave me hanging out to dry on the vine just waiting to be picked by someone who will love me as only you can? Do you not know how much I am hurting? Do you not know how I can no longer walk without falling? Where are you when I need to be helped up? Do I mean nothing to you at all? Am I nothing at all to you? If that is true, let me die on the vine and drop to the soil and be absorbed into the earth forever.