We all have done it and still do it, we make assumptions that fill our minds with doubt and uncertainty and we believe the worse when in fact the truth could contain information that is more important than ourselves. I am guilty of such wrong doing and I am just now realizing that someone I love very much could be hurt or have a family member very ill which requires him to be attended to or by their side. I do not wish this to be so but if it is I want him to get better and anyone he loves that may be very ill to get better as well.
We come into this world with a limited number of family members and they are all we really have when it counts and when we lose them we have scares that run deep and will always be carried in our hearts. I have lost all of my family and find live to be very lonely without anyone who knew me when. No one knows me not even myself at times and it is not a good feeling at all and leaves me quite empty everyday of my life. The only person I had the slightest bit of faith in I have not heard from and I am very worried that I may never hear from him again and to think such thoughts is scaring the hell out of me.
I attempt to sleep at night but do not sleep but toss and turn wondering where he is and if he is alive and well and if he knows or ever knew how much I love him and how concerned I am for him. I want nothing more then his happiness which I am sure few can say that as they want a piece of him, they do not want to give to him what his heart needs or his spirit requires to soar in this world. I will always love him even if I never meet him or hear from him again and I will always pray for his safety and well being.
I wish he would call me and tell me he is ok and life is wonderful but that hasn’t happened as of yet and I am sure he thinks I am having a wonderful time with some guy and life is fantastic, this is not so as I have no desire to be with anyone but him and cannot find anyone that compares to him and his support that he has given me, even when he hasn’t been there he has always been in my mind and heart and the thought of him has gotten me through some very tough times.
If he reads this which I doubt I do want him to know that my love has never wavered and I have not replaced him as he is irreplaceable in my world but I do pray that he contacts me to let me know he is alive and well or at least alive and healing and I do hope his family is safe and well.