I Can’t Breathe

You have to come and save me, you have to come today because I can’t continue going on this way, I need you but do you need me? My arms wait for you and no one else so please come to me today as you do not know I cannot breathe without you as you leave me breathless. I have so much to give and I only want to give it to you so please come to me today. I am so lonely without hearing your voice and it makes me sad and life is so hard for me alone.

I need to be needed, I need to be loved and I only want to share that with you, don’t you know? Are you ever going to come to me or am I waiting for no one to show me what I so badly need in my life? Don’t you know I think you are so damn awesome in so many ways, you are gentle,kind,loving,warm,intelligent,caring and so much more. I never tell you because I don’t know if you even care what I think. I have been here for you but you do not show any interest so I am left to nothing but assumptions.

Have I been fooling myself and thinking I am the one you will come to or am I just another one of your fish? I will be leaving in a few hours to go to the rv in hopes of selling it this weekend, I love the place but it holds nothing for me any longer. It’s a long drive for me and I get sad when I am up there as I remember times that I would rather not and I am moving on slowly and don’t need to see visions that hold me back. You have had it all and maybe you now have nothing, like myself which is fine with me as I need so very little to survive and I only need you to make me thrive.

I ask you not to change as I do not want you to be another only yourself, I do not need money as I gave so much away to keep me from harm as I am aware what money has done to hurt me in so many ways. I have enough to live on and that is fine for me but is it fine for you? Do you remember saving my life? I was so sick with pneumonia and you pushed me to go to the hospital? Why did you do that yet you hide from me and call randomly and then hang up on me? You are not running out of credits, you don’t want someone to know you are talking to me and yes I am aware of the numerous women in your life and in your bed but I am hoping you have finally realized they are using you as you use them and offer you nothing.

I am no fly by night woman as you must be aware of by now as I have been here three long years and I wonder do you think of me when you fuck them? Do you ever think of me at all? What is it going to take to make you show yourself? Must I walk away and leave you to your devices and let you wonder through life until you find the right woman for you or do you have her already and I am nothing to you at all? Do I get lost in my own dreams of us being together and am I nothing but an old fool?

I have so very little of you but you have asked so much of me and yes I have hurt you because you have hurt me and we always lash out at the ones we love. Should I forget you and if I should I will tell you I will have an empty existance for the rest of my life as you are irreplaceable in my life, you are the man I have waited for my entire life, you are all I will ever need or want because I cannot breath without you so either talk to me or cut me free. 

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