I realized today was the day to let go and I am setting your soul free finally, it is time for me to let you lie down your burden of the kids and I and let you move on to the next world where you belong. I have tried to hold you back for the kids but that hasn’t been possible and today I have finally started to get rid of the worldly things that once were yours. It hasn’t been hard at all which makes me feel some guilt but you must realize our marriage was hell for me in so many ways.
You lied to me from the beginning, two marriages and three kids? wtf Bob and fifty grand in debt that you neglected to mention while you lived in an eight hundred dollar apartment a month and lived like you were financially stable, which was so far from the damn truth, did you not learn the truth from lies or was it just me you lied to? We both know why we got married, I married you because I was pregnant and didn’t want to raise a child without both parents, you married me because I had my own home, two cars, two businesses and worked tons of overtime.
Let’s not fool ourselves we used each other but for different reasons and you damn well know it so don’t walk around like you are so damn innocent because you are not. I helped pay for Kristie’s college and Katie’s private high school and saved for Shelby’s future and what did you save? Not a damn thing as you always had to have the biggest and best we could afford and thought I was such a stickler about money, which I had no choice but to be.
Kristie was so damn jealous when I was pregnant with Ryan that she got herself knocked up and once again I came to the rescue as usual. Let her live under my roof, paid for all her maternity clothes and bought that baby everything she needed and she is beautiful but the ass you are never got to see how beautiful your granddaughter is because you just wouldn’t come down off your high ass perch and try to resolve issues with your girls and now I am the piece of shit that caused the tiff between you guys.
I never considered myself a step mom and yet I take the fall because you guys couldn’t come to terms with issues between you, that is not fair but when were you ever fair? When were you ever honest with me? Did you ever love me? No, I was the one that saved your live several hundred times remember? I was the one that took your parents out of that mouse infested house and brought them here and then your mom passed so fast and I took care of your dad until he passed. You never raised a fucking finger to help me either and even when I told you your dad was walking around the house with nothing but a t shirt on you didn’t do a damn thing. Your dad was hung like a horse dragging his cock around and you wouldn’t say a damn thing.
I am the one that straightened out our finances and got us debt free with money in the bank and you pissed that all away, on what? Dollar store shit that I am throwing out daily, you lied to the kids and told them I had men living in the house with me, wtf Bob why? Why would you want to hurt your own children with lies? You are such a fucking ass and selfish and you spent more time on the fucking grass than you did with your own family.
This is my letter to you to dump all the shit I have carried for eighteen years and I will no longer carry it and you can just move your ass down the highway to heaven and let us move on as well. You were not all bad as a person, but you bought me shit all the time, yes shit not a damn thing I wanted but what you thought I needed, like that new vacuum for my birthday-woop the fuck ee and I was so damn lucky that you took me out to dinner what, three times a year maybe? We never saw a movie or even watched tv together, we never did a damn thing together but you always played the perfect husband role to the asswipe neighbors and I was always the bad guy.
It’s fine because I am stronger than you could of ever been and I am a survivor even though you ripped out my heart and ate it for a snack when you died. I have cried over you for over a year and I am through crying and letting my life stay stationery, it’s time for the kids and I to move on and we are. You can no longer hurt me as I fold up your clothes and put them in a box for the salvation army and throw away the shit that you treasured.
I have kept your birth certificate, military release, drivers license and death certificates because if I ever do remarry I need a death certificate I believe and the kids may need the papers one day or just may want them for what ever reason. You will no longer be my master and ball and chain, you will no longer have power over me and hurt me or lie to me and you will no longer try to run my life because it is time for you to go permanently out of my life and let me live once again.
When you were dying I didn’t have to invite your ex wife or kids over to see you but it was the right thing. You spent twenty years with Kay and you two had your youth and two kids together and she needed to let go of all the anger she had towards you and you her. It was a cleansing for both of you but I didn’t have to do it but I did because it was the right thing and no matter what I respect the union of marriage even when it is over and the life people have shared together. I couldn’t believe it when Kay hugged me at your funeral no we didn’t speak because we didn’t have to, we both knew we had lost you but I gave her the privacy with you to put to rest the anger.
You would have never done the same for me and I know that because you were always a selfish bastard and still are I have no doubt. You helped everyone but your own family and I have always helped you and you know it. I am pissed at you and I am going to counseling to work on the anger and I am moving forward without you because I need to and I want to and my counselor told me it was ok to tell you how I really felt so I am.
I will always remember you fondly even though you are an ass and always will be but we did have a few good times even though you still don’t get why I prefer wild flowers to roses, you never did understand me so don’t even try now because it’s way to late. Why don’t you do something wonderful like let your kids know that you haven’t forgotten them and tap them on the shoulder once in a while and whisper you still love them and always will, can you do that? Please?