Liquid Nitrogen

You made me believe I was more than I am, you made me believe that I was worth waiting for, you made me believe I was important and desirable, you yes you made me believe I knew it all, you made me believe I was special but I have learned I am nothing at all. You did this, yes you did this to me and I let you because I loved you. I am not more than I am, I am not worth waiting for, I am not important or desirable, I do not know it all, I am not special and yes, I am nothing at all.

Are you happy with yourself? Feel accomplished? Feel like a real man now? Ya, you had the ability to tear me apart and you have done a damn good job, another feather in your cap? Another trophy on your shelf?You have hurt so many woman and left them in your path but you destroyed what was good in me, my love for you, you and you alone destroyed it, not me but you. I will never darken your door and I no longer will wait for you and no trip wire will stop me this time I assure you.

I am evolving and it is to bad you are no longer welcome to see my full revolution nor are you invited to watch any longer. I want you out of my life, my dreams, hopes and wishes. I no longer want a life with you ever and I certainly do not want to be your friend and forget lover for sure. I can not trust you and you do not respect me one iota and I know it. You don’t need me to be waiting for you in fact you don’t need me at all and I now have that firmly implanted in my head.

I am banishing you like malaria, remember when you got more money out of me by telling me you had malaria? Wow, what a fucking idiot I was and I bet you and Frankie got one hell of a laugh out of that one and how about the shit I sent you, did you guys piss yourselves laughing how you took me again? Or how about when I let you use my credit card to buy yourself some nice clothes damn I bet that just filled the room full of shits and giggles.

I have been the laughing stock of you and your friends for way to fucking long and I will not be made a fool of any longer you hear me? You taught me how not to be deceived and taken advantage of Michael Jones, Reggio Kyle and Emmanual Akubor so thanx for the expensive lessons. I will never let anyone treat me with such malice and disrespect ever again thanx to you. I am sure you will just take your hard on out to the bar and pick up some cheap trick and fuck her while you are drunk, well have at it as I would never let you touch me no matter how impure you may think I am.

I am as pure as the driven snow but you will never get the delight of tasting me, never as I am no longer available to you and your friends, I am no longer going to allow you to treat me as the joke of the hour. I will take back all of my power and find a man who loves me for me not what I have to give them. You have no idea what you have done, you not only threw me away, you threw away my trust which is more important.

Did that beer taste good? Goes down easy doesn’t it, as easy as sweet talking a woman out of her money, gifts, credit card and love, worse of all her love. Not that you care but I am sick, really sick but of course I can’t talk to you about it and don’t want to any longer anyway. There are only two people who love me for me and you are not one of them and they are the only two people who will ever miss me as you sure the hell won’t.

I will never ask you for a fucking thing, no help, no shoulder to cry on, nothing as I do not need you or your drive thru love, I can do without it and you and I damn well plan too.  You have seen more of the world than I ever could but I have lived more than you ever will and I have loved deeper than you could ever imagine but you didn’t want my love so it’s no longer yours. I may trip over cracks but I have and will continue to pick myself up and move forward, leaving you behind.

There is no savior for us, there is no turning back and there is no future ever for us and I will no longer hold on to such a dream that does not exist. I may be a dreamer but I can dream dreams that you could never and I can fly to the moon without you, I can make a beautiful necklace out of the stars and let them shine brightly around my neck while you only have gold hanging from yours. Yes, I am a dreamer but dreamers are the ones that change the world for the better.

You are liquid nitrogen which has frozen my veins clear up to my heart and frozen it as well, you no longer warm me as you should. Don’t bother ever calling, texting, emailing or sending me a letter because I want nothing from you starting with any form of contact. I do not wish harm on you, I do not wish you pain or rejection I just wish you to be gone from my life so I can love again. Is that asking to much from you? The great B__t__l when will you learn even nicknames mean nothing in the stream of life? 

Send me my twenty-six grand and go fuck yourself with a red hot poker Mr. Wonderful 

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