There comes a time when we must allow our dreams to guide us and let the magic work for us without putting a damper on it. I have given up on my dreams, hopes and wishes but it is time to let them make me happy again and dream sweet dreams once again. The sweetest of dreams always contain one person and he rules my heart and he is always in my thoughts, every moment of every day and I know one day he will come to me and make me the happiest woman on this earth.
He has no idea how hard life has been for me and being totally alone now is very difficult for me as I always have had my pets to keep me company but those days are gone and I am completely alone and it is hard for me. I so wish he would come to me and we could make sweet love and share our worlds. We have so much to offer each other and I so want to spend time with him at the rv as no one there even knows I am alive except the few friends I have.
I do not socialize and keep to myself as the gossip at the campground is worse then my neighborhood and I have no interest in partaking in the gossip circles. I enjoy myself barbecuing, kicking back and reading, going to the pool, golf course, shooting pool and sitting by the fire. People come by and chat for a bit and then off they go on their golf cart. I like tooling around on my cart and visiting or just going for a ride at sunset or early morning when it isn’t so hot.
I would so love to take him for a ride in the words and fuck his brains out as I love being daring and find it exciting to have sex with the possibility of getting caught. I think it would be a rush to give him a blowjob under the table at a restaurant, ya I know I am off the wall but hey that’s what makes life fun. I think about fondling him in the pool and having him enter me with people all around us but not knowing what we are doing.
I enjoy romance as well but I do like daring sex and I am somewhat kinky I am sure others would say, but I do not care what others think or say as I do what I please and do not let anyone lead me around. He would probably think I am completely nut but that is me and I will not change for anyone, not even him. He hasn’t a clue that I am wild at times and I so enjoy letting go and just being myself, I love to joke and laugh especially with men.
I am a huge flirt but in a subdued way as that is hotter than putting it out there but I do not mean any harm, I just find it to be fun like a sport nothing more. I am not interested in making anyone jealous as flirting to me doesn’t include the one I love, it is personal not to make one jealous or feel insecure which I can’t stand. I get jealous occasionally but do not like it one bit so if I was hurting him or making him mad all he would have to do is let me know and I would stop.
I think it would be hot to be sitting next to him and have on a dress and he slips his hand under my dress and into my panties, fuck I think I could explode right now thinking of him and how exciting doing sensual in public gets me. Most people would frown upon doing anything like that but not me. I realize I am suppose to be “respectable” and forget about having sex at my age but I will not apologize for having such a strong sex drive at my age. I have more going on than most people twenty years younger than I am.
I constantly think of loving this man and fucking the shit right out of him and that makes me so fucking wet and I stay that way day after day. He does that to me, just thinking about his cock makes me wet and I so want to make love to him, care for him, guide him, give him the world, yes I want to give him the world and see him happy and hopefully I can make him happy. I imagine myself sitting on him naked and bending down and kissing, then lieing on his chest with his cock deep inside me.
I think of making love to him all the time but I also worry about him constantly and am concerned for his welfare. I want him so bad it hurts, yes it does and I pray everyday for him to come to me but he doesn’t. I can only assume he is spending his time with another woman and that hurts me so I try not to think of that and dream of him coming to be with me. I can beg and write until I am blue in the face but that won’t make him come to me.
He must want to be with me and it appears he does not and that is hard for me to accept but I feel I must. Here I go again back and fourth emotionally but I have nothing to hold onto and I don’t hear from him and it hurts, hurts me so bad but I cannot change what is. I haven’t discussed him with my counselor as I do not want anyone to know what an ass I am for falling in love with someone I have never met. People would tell me to walk away and just let go but it isn’t that easy for me because when my heart is involved I am stuck like glue.