Peace Within

Being a single parent is hard work, damn hard work as protecting your children is your number one priority and dating, hell dating isn’t even thought about because there are so many people with screwed up ideas and they play games as they pretend to be interested in your kids and try to become your children’s “best friend” they will try to buy your kids and they try to undermine you, they try to talk you into letting your kid do something or have something that you have denied them.

I have no interest in the games people play especially when it comes to my kids and I will not put up with any bullshit either, there’s the fucking door don’t let it hit your ass on the way out is exactly how I feel. I know the games people play because I had a step dad and watched the games being played. People tell you they love you and your kids and then they marry you and treat your kids like shit, I know I have been there and I have not and will not let that type of game be played with my children or myself.

Remarrying is a damn scary thought and I do want to remarry because I do enjoy marriage and family but I have to be so damn careful because of my kids. I don’t expect anyone to love my kids but I do not expect bullshit either and that is a great fear I have. I would expect my children and I to be treated with respect as human beings but to love them, no I do not expect that but it would be nice if eventually that were to happen.

I would want my husband to be part of my family, not an outsider looking in and I would hope that he would want to be part of living life and experiences the kids and I have. I do not want it to be us and him and that scares me to death as it is so damn hard to love someone and your kids and be stuck in the middle. I have several single friends that are dating guys with kids and they pretend to like the kids and they really don’t. This pisses me off because they are so damn fake and phony and just want a man at any cost and that includes hurting his kids, which is so fucking wrong.

The difference between them and I is I want a man but do not need a man to make my life complete and even when my kids are gone I still will not need a man to support me and I like it that way. I like my independence and freedom and I like being me and I like knowing I can take care of myself without the help of a man. To many woman want someone to support them and that is bullshit, just plain bullshit and they use men and I don’t go for that either as using others says a lot about you as a person.

Men are fun, they are hilarious at times and I like to listen to them and the way they think interests me and I find intriguing at times. Men have great outlooks on different subjects and I learn so much from them but my problem is most of them want to fuck me and I am not interested in one night stand as I have tried it once and it sucks. Men can do one nighters and not think twice but I cannot do that and will not as it leaves me feeling like shit.

I cannot do married men either as they lie so much and always say the same shit “she doesn’t understand me” which is bullshit and translates into I want to fuck you but go home to her. I am no ones fool and can see and read between the lines. Maybe one day I will have the perfect man in my life but until then I stay home and enjoy what I can and pray that the man I love will come to me and if he never does than I pray for his happiness and peace within. 


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