It must be the tequilla that is running through my fingers because I am making no sense it all and I am so fucking scattered right now. It must be the alcohol because I am not a regular drinker and get so drunk so damn easy. I have been drinking tequilla straight which I shouldn’t be doing because it really hurts my tummy but I drink it anyway for a quick get fucked up. I am trying to drown my sorrows in a bottle which never works but we try just the same as if our problems will magically disappear by morning.
You know the one thing about being naked all the time is? As a woman and having a “cloth” couch well need I get graphic, no I do not and I need to clean this couch as my daughter sells it smells like, well you know lol. Scratch and Sniff, hell I wonder if I could sell this bitch and produce a new product line of couches, lmao. I know I am out in left field right now but that is ok because it’s the drugs, alcohol and waking up when I should be sleeping.
I need a lot of sleep and when I do not get it I am not a very pleasant person to say the least. When I get up I don’t have much to say as I go through my morning routine so fast and out the door I go. I smoke constantly which is not good because I have this nervous energy but you wouldn’t know it to look at me as I am extremely unmotivated and hate cleaning but that is what I have been doing because I hate living in clutter and garbage.
I am so fucking lost right now as I dream of a man that is my secret mentor as he guides me through life and doesn’t let me fall even though I trip constantly. I dream of him next to me and supporting my thoughts and he scolds me like a child when I am wrong but I need this I guess at times as I am childish at moments but I like that. I like being silly and childish and I like saying stupid shit that will make you laugh because I like the sound of laughter especially his laughter.