Pain is a terrible thing to have to deal with and as a child a suffered with migraines that left me debilitated as I could not stand noise, light, I couldn’t even walk and threw up. I had to go to the hospital to get an injection to put me to sleep the pain was so unbearable. Finally, at the age of thirteen the migraines stopped and the rashes to jewelry started and I still cannot wear anything but good gold to this day. My son has migraines and he suffers the same way I did.

I know the pain he suffers and it hurts me to see him in so much pain so I started my own brand of therapy to help him. Pain worsens as we tense up so to help relieve the pain one must relax, which isn’t so easy to do. I take my son into my room and we lie down together and spoon with me lieing behind him, I place my hand on his forehead and press lightly and talk very softly to him as I use my other hand to slowly run through his hair.

I can feel his body begin to relax and eventually he is able to fall asleep and he sleeps for up to eighteen hours. Migraines are no different from any other type of serious pain and it takes more than medication to help relieve the pain. I have been able to teach my son how to wipe the slate clean in his brain, I tell him to look at the chalk board in his brain and look at all the writing and then walk up to the board and take the eraser and erase it clean.

I tell him this is his brain and he no longer has any thoughts as his brain is empty and I tell him to breath through his nose and exhale slowly through his mouth. His brain is empty of thought and his body begins to relax with the breathing. As I speak to him softly he is able to take control of the tenseness he feels and let it go and this is a wonderful way to help reduce pain, most people think I am crazy but this is a tried and true method.

It has to do with the person’s voice that is talking to you and what they say as the brain digests the words and the presentation of the speech and this in turn with the breathing is a true miracle worker. I have tried many different medications over the years with Ry and I can tell you my personal method works better than anything as I speak very softly and deliberate as I guide him mentally into a place of peace. I started this when he was four as all I could give him was motrin, which didn’t help.

When my husband lost his leg and I was finally able to bring him home he had terrible pain as his stump was healing. I tried the same method with him and I will be damned it worked as I was able to get him so relaxed the pain was reduced considerably. I am not a pain specialist but I do take illness very seriously and try to find a solution to it or I try my own methods and see how they work, some have worked fantastic and some have not worked at all.

I have no tolerance for pain and that is how I developed my method of pain reduction as I read about pain, the causes and how to reduce it with breathing and I added the visualization and have found it to be very effective. You have to give yourself up to blankness and people have a difficult time giving up control of their own thoughts because they do not trust others, which is to be expected but once you listen very closely and want to find relief it helps it truly does.

My step daughter called me a few days ago and told me Ry was in terrible pain and how did I help him, I told her what to do but she wasn’t able to help him and I wasn’t allowed to go to him, which really pissed me off because he needed me and only me because I developed a method (or so I think) that works and it takes the right tone of voice, the right amount of pressure on the area of pain, the right words and the right visualization.

I am so hoping that the kids can come home next week so I can be there for Ry when he needs me and I can help him as I cannot stand to see anyone suffer from pain and I do have the ability to lessen it considerably or all together. I prefer holistic medicine to conventional medicine because the dangers are so great from medication and the side affects can be devastating as was the case with Shel, I had her get the gardisil shots, three separate injections and the company that developed it was aware of the side effects and the government was as well as they made the pharmaceutical company put money aside to  cover patients that suffered from the side affects.

The third injection Shel had didn’t hit her until about ten minutes later as we were walking out of the dr. office where she immediately passed out and landed on her face. Her jaw was snapped off her skull and fractured down the middle of her chin. She was hospitalized for three days and had to have emergency surgery and her jaw wired shut, no one could understand her but me and it was a terrible time for her, I did some research and found out about the fund and filed on her behalf.

She received a settlement of $30,000 dollars which she begins to receive in January on her 18th birthday, of course they won’t give it to her all at once but at least she is being compensated for her suffering. This is why I am so adamant on learning about medication and illnesses, between my son, my husband and my daughter my focus has become on preventing suffering in my family and I doubt I will ever stop learning as I have been able to help others and that is rewarding for me.

At Peace

I got to see my son today and we had a great visit, I made him his favorite cake tres leche and I stopped at tim horton’s and picked him up a frozen cappuccino his favorite. He is so happy with his new phone and the $300 dollars I gave him. Shelby is at pom camp which cos $300 so fair is fair. It looks pretty good for the kids coming home Monday but we have to see, the house passed inspection which I knew it would and that makes me happy as well.

I am doing so damn good and I feel so good that it’s like a dream to be so happy as I never thought I could feel this way. I have avoided having anything to do with men because I wasn’t ready and plus my concern about my kids. I am finally ready to start dating but in no hurry to get out there and make myself available. The man I love I have finally given up on and do not see anything ever happening there but he won’t miss me anyway, which is good.

We belong together but he has to be the one to make that happen but I cannot wait for him as my life ticks away day by day and I have to enjoy the time I have. Things happen and people die unexpectedly and I don’t plan on that happening but who does plan on dieing? I just know that life is beautiful and I am beautiful and I am happy and that is great as it has taken a very long time to reach this point in my life. Even though the man I love has no desire to come to me and be with me I still pray for his happiness and safety and his life is going to be very rich in many ways and that I am thankful for as he deserves everything that is coming to him.

He has to learn to relax and meditate and be one with himself and whom ever he has in his life, I do pray she makes him happy. I have no reason to be angry or upset that he is with another because he is a beautiful person and he has faults just like everyone else but his heart is good and it is pure even if he doesn’t think so. I have done by best to watch over him Lord and to send him the goodness I have and I think he has grasped some of it. God help this man find his way as he is confused as we all are and we all need your guidance and love.

If you are reading this Gabriel, I honestly want your best and all the happiness in the world for you, I am your friend even though you piss me off sometimes I am always here for you and I accept you, all of you and your illnesses. If you ever need a friend please reach out to be and I will hold you and soothe your troubled soul. I will forever love you and hold you tight when you need to cry as tears are not a weakness they are a cleansing of our troubled selfs, I am always here for you please do not forget that.

I will continue to be here waiting for you and maybe one day you will come to my door and we can watch movies and eat popcorn naked, as we both enjoy being naked. Not in a sensual way just a way of freedom for both of us. I so want you to be yourself and to be happy and if I can make you smile just once, then that would be great as I am your true friend and I cannot thank you enough for all you have done for me. I know you have no idea what you have done but believe me you have changed my life in so many positive ways. You have been the driving force for me to find help and guidance in my troubled life. I am no longer troubled and at peace, thank you.


The best way to relieve stress and anxiety is to breathe, close your eyes raise your arms over your head as you breathe in through your nose let the air out through your mouth as you lower your arms slowly. Do this three times and you will feel so much more relaxed and less stress. You must focus on yourself nothing else matters, only you and your state of mind become one with yourself and you will find peace and a release of stress and anxiety.

If that doesn’t work come to me and I have another method that is a guarantee to relieve stress, I promise you this, hehehhe I’m so bad sometimes but I’m so damn good lmao.


So you have fibromylasia and you have a personality disorder, well aren’t you special? Well, so am I with my bipolar disorder and then we have an autistic child and a bipolar child, now yes we are special very special with special kids. Let us make a special family and find our way together as the road is paved with understanding and love, patience and guidance and the world is ours to discover as we grow together. Don’t look back we aren’t headed that way, look at today as a new beginning a new life for all of us.

Yes I will be your wife, yes I will love and honor you and yes I will cherish you and yours which will become us and ours, this is not just words but a true committment for I have enough love for everyone and enough understanding and desire to learn and help all of us grow.If you have found someone else that can say the same and will follow through then take her and love her and let her help change your world and let the light shine in.

I love you more than you will ever know as I love you so much I will stand to the side and watch you be happy with another. That is how much I love you, to see you happy at any cost with anyone but I am hoping and praying it is me. You will not hurt me if you chose another, I promise I will survive and live a happy life in time. Do not worry about me I am a true survivor but wish I would be surviving with you. You will always be the one that has shown me what love means and how it feels and I thank you more than I can say. mwwahhhhhhh


Come to the back of my house to the north sliding glass door, look in and you will see me covered up with my naked ass uncovered as I love to have air blown up my ass, lol. Come join me in my slumber and no you will  not have to take a number, just crawl in next to me and I will hug you and snore in your ear and you will just smile because you are finally where you should be, home. There is peace here and there is understanding.

There is warm and kindness and love just for you but you have to be willing to crawl in next to me but Im not sharing my feather pillow, got that! Let me cuddle up to you naked and feel the security of you next to me and watch me smile in my sleep because you make me feel safe and secure, let me make you feel the same. What are you waiting for? Here’s your personal invitation to the rest of your life or you can tear it up and look for a new wife.

Don’t be an asshole and shut the fuck up and just come to me DO YOU HEAR ME OR ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF??????? LET ME LOVE YOU SILLY LET ME MAKE YOU SMILE I LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU DO PISS ME OFF

Follow The Voices

So you have baggage huh? Well guess what I just cleaned my house and have plenty of room for more baggage, in  fact I will even unpack it for you and if you want me to molest you then you will have to ask me nicely and maybe just maybe I will unrobe you and cover you will every ounce of love I have. It’s no longer an option and it’s no longer a choice, it’s a command from the highest power of our Lord as he knows what is best for both of us and Sh along with Ry and Shel.

No door can close if you put your foot in it and no one can turn their back if you grab their shoulders and turn them around, no one can walk away if you hug them and no one will laugh at you if you slap the shit out of them. The choice is yours

Be happy make memories smile and laugh, cry if you need to because I will wipe those tears away with my kisses. I understand your pain and how you have lost yourself as I have been there and will never return and I will not let you either but you must believe with all your heart, not for a moment not for a day but for a lifetime.

The voice of a thousand bears are calling the two of you home, follow their voices and you will be home

As Children Do

Giving up on yourself is not an option but my foot up your ass is and I will gladly kick you where it counts and make you believe in life and love, do not be a fool and look for fools gold but choose to be a winner and follow my lead. No one is an island and no one needs to be unhappy you can choose to stay in your depression or you can be happy, or you can choose depression and come to me and I will teach you how to bury it and smile again, laugh to laugh and be yourself.

The greatness within you should be set free and you need love like you need oxygen so take the pillow off your face and breathe in my essence, I will never smother you only lead you to the sunrise and the quiet of the spring in the morning. Relax, let love in and the light will follow, let go of your troubles and I will blow them away. Let me love you and your days will change but choose to run and hide and you will continue to feel pain.

I am not a guru I am not an angel I am of God and God has given me something special to share with you and you alone, do not walk the other way as I will run after you and trip you and laugh as you fall in the mud puddle, then I will hand you my jacket to wipe the mud off because Im like that. Let’s get stupid and silly let us be happy children again and let us see the world through our child eyes again. Being an adult doesn’t mean we can’t be children from time to time.

Let us play in the mud, jump in mud puddle build sand castles in the rain and run naked through the house, let us laugh and be silly and let us thank God for each other as we are crazy as a loon and loving it. mwahhh to you so go run because I am going to trip your ass and fall beside you and we shall laugh together as children do.

No One

You have issues and you have problems well so do I and we both have children that are special in their own way, together we can overcome our obstacles and pain and together we can make a great family of misfits in this world of make believe. Take my hand, let us follow the sun and love will surround all of us and our pain will wash away and we will be flooded with love. The choice is yours and yours alone and remember time waits for no one.

Take It

I have given you every chance I could and I will tell you with no positive response from you deleting you is getting easier and easier and soon enough you will no longer even be a thought. Either grab the brass ring or enjoy your deletion from my life completely, the choice is yours. 32081 Liparoto  here you go I can’t make it any easier than that for you take it or leave it.