Chain Smoking

The first things I do in the morning is pee and light a cigarette, good way to start the morning, lol. I have learned not to take myself so serious and to let go of the little shit that ways me down. I really enjoy my meditation sessions as they focus me immediately.

Centering yourself is important and it really helps to deal with the daily bullshit of life and the ups and downs that come with every day. I no longer get upset over silly stupid shit that isn’t worth my time and I no longer waste my days as I slowly get shit done around here.

Janet had a heart attack yesterday and she called me to tell me she was in the hospital, will have to call her and keep up on what’s going on with her. She has become some what of a fitxure in my life as she calls a lot and comes over most of the week.

She’s a very good person and a good friend I just wish I could do more to help her but I cannot at this time. She lives frugally because she has no choice but she is a trooper and she is a hell of a good person with a great heart.

Now I do not know about “him” as he is back at poking me on fb, he cracks me up as he always has to let me know when he is around. I don’t know if this makes him feel like he has some sort of contact with me or if he just wants to annoy the piss out of me.

He is a grin and he thinks he can hide, well there is no hiding from yourself and your desires and we can try to walk away from our emotions but they are right there never leaving us for a moment. I do not know if he gets inspiration from reading my posts or if he just wants to know what is going on in my life.

Things are great and are going great and this is not something I am used to but the tides do turn, life does not stay the same but continually changes from bad to good to bad to good again. I’m in the good phase finally and I am loving it.

It’s a fantastic feeling when you feel good, life is going great and everything is falling into place as it should. I do not know if “he” fears that I will burn and crash but he need not fear that as I have it all under control finally. I wake up feeling great and I like myself and I like him to but he prefers to stay hidden and miss out on what life has to offer him.

I really wish I could meet him and work with him on meditation and becoming centered, his world would be so much happier and he would start to like himself and not harm himself any longer. The answers lie before him but he refuses to drink from the stream of life.

I see he has mimicked me once again as I changed my theme on my blog and I guess he liked it so much he thought he would use it as well. I do wish he would change the background as that ugly brown is depressing, let’s keep it real and let’s keep it fun.

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