You may think I am lovely but I am not by today’s standards, I am overweight and lonely and just want to feel the love of another. I don’t want fake acts of kindness or those that pretend to care as I can see right through them.

I didn’t sleep good last night because the pain in my back and my hip really was to much. I got up popped a pain pill and went back to bed until 1 p.m., got up ate and popped 3 more pain pills and yes they finally took away the pain but now I am sweating profusely.

I do not pop pills but every once in a while I need to escape the pain and drink a few beers to kick it in. Not smart I know but I do no I’m not going to die or overdose. I need to get in the shower but just don’t think I can do it without getting hurt.

I can so easily slip and fall and now that I have the pain buzz I do not want to hurt myself. I would so love to be spending the afternoon in bed with “him” doing nothing but relaxing. I love tieing 

I wish he would come to me and we could just play all day, yes I do want him to penetrate my ass one day when I am ready as I want to feel him inside me I want us to be one and feel as one, I want us to learn and share so much.

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