No Me

Sometimes life moves on without us and that is what has been happening to me, I have let life move on without me and I can no longer do that. I have so much to offer the right man and I thought I had “met” him but I have lied to myself.

You can love a virtual, you can get lost in the flower garden, you can smash the flowers but they will bloom again as shall I. I am but a small speck of sand on the ocean bottom that no ones sees or feels and it’s time for me to come to the surface and wash ashore.

I admit it, I am hurting from the heart but I have control over how I deal and feel and I no longer want to deal or feel pain of the heart. I tried, I tried so damn hard I reached out to him and he rejected me for the one he was with at that time.

I am no ones second choice and I am not available to fill someone’s bored evening, ya look at my tits and crotch ya go ahead jack off or admire or puke whatever feeling moves you. I gave and gave and gave and now I can give no more.

I can no longer be part of the grand plan and I can no longer deal with things that have no value in my life. I tried to love you but you rejected me and now that you want me I do not want you, isn’t that ironic? I’m done trying I’m done begging and I am done kissing your ass and playing your games.

I am a woman you are a man we are no longer children playing in the sandbox. If you want to know me then fucking come to me and know me don’t hide behind other names and faces, do not waste time as your time does have a limit and your life is finite as is mine.

Do not think of me as a fool or a broken woman as I am neither but yes, you have hurt me and continue to play hurtful games even though you are not trying to hurt me. I am the type that can be hurt as easy as it is to put a dent in a feather pillow.

I am way to sensitive and way to emotional but I know that and I must deal with it but I have told you how I am yet you still do what you know hurts me.

Do not wait for me

as I wait not for you,

do not hold me high in the sky

as I hold you at knee height,

do not love me

as I will not allow myself

to continue to love you,

go on your way and pick

the prettiest of carrots and

the prettiest of peas,

eat from the garden of life

drink from the stream

smile at your reflection

you see only one

not two as you should

why only one?

because there is no

ME

 

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