Connect

Have you ever connected with someone you have never met? Have you ever had a bond with the person without a face or real name? Have you ever felt so close yet so far to someone? I have, I have felt all three and so much more.

I have thought I had fallen in love with this person but it wasn’t love it was a deep connection I have never felt with another. I have this unbreakable bond with Mr. No name no face and it’s not from my heart but from God’s power that this bond was established.

The bond I speak of is not of this world, no man can build such a bond of such strength that is why I say it is of God. God builds relationships for us and we walk into them and the ground work is already laid before us. I have this bond with “him” and it is all consuming yet not controlling.

He has placed me in the category of sexual pleasurers which I do not care for one bit as sex is not my thing at all. Sex is mundane and leaves you feeling empty, now making love, making love takes you to a depth that most never reach as they know not of love making but primal sex.

I plan to go to NY but that can change on a dime if he doesn’t continue to change the way he talks to me and if he thinks Im so damn pretty then he needs to look further and see that I am a beautiful person inside as well. I am ultra sensitive and do not like to be treated like nothing more than a long distance fuck buddy for him.

He is so secretive that, that concerns me as I really do not know if he is married or has kids or a steady girlfriend. He says no but I am not buying that as I just cannot believe that he has no children, wife or girlfriend it just doesn’t seem normal.

I want so much more and I am in no hurry to go after it as I am the type that is a one man woman and that one man is the one that gives me purpose in so many ways. I do know if he doesn’t make an effort to talk to me on the phone for other than to help him jack off this is coming to a complete halt rather quickly.

He must show an interest in me as a person not a sexual relief voice and I am not seeing a whole lot of that and I do not like it at all. It makes me feel cheap and as if my only reason for existence is for sexual pleasure and that is degrading.

If he has no respect for me then he has none for himself and that is not acceptable to me, he may be used to getting what he wants at any price but I am not and will not continue to accept the level he has placed me at. I have not booked my flight yet and things better change rather quickly like in the next several days or there will be no trip to NY.

He seems like a nice guy but he is arrogant to a degree and I have no desire to meet him and slap the arrogance right out of him. I am not a violent person but I can be pushed only so far and I have my hiking boots on and I am gone.

I do not expect him to “wine and dine” me take me to expensive places and keep me entertained and I’m not asking him to change his life style, his work hours or his personality. I just want to get away and relax for a while that is it.

I will not be his fuck buddy and no I do not have plans of having sex with him which I have no doubt will not go over well with him. I make love, pure and simple and that decides itself when and where it will occur as making love is all consuming, slow, deliberate and caring.

Does he even know what love making really is? I really wonder

Tango

I am starting to understand how the dating process works these days and wow have they changed considerably in the last twenty years. Things are all about sex and that is the beginning of conversations and then you move on to the get to know you phase.

This is all quite backwards to me but I am finding it fun non the less. I don’t know if he realizes I am kidding with him most of the time but I wish I could see his face for his reactions. I’m sure he thinks I’m an arrogant bitch but I do not mean a single thing I type.

I am just messing with him and I think he is starting to pick up on when I’m joking as I am getting more lol’s out of him which means he is understanding my lack of seriousness in our conversations. I’m glad I  can make him laugh and make him feel care free because I know I do.

He needs just to relax and I think I help him accomplish that, at least I hope I do. I think he works way to much and I think he hides in his work as most workaholics do. His hours may be part of his job but he needs to be good to himself.

I’m starting to believe that he has feelings for me and I like talking to him, I can read him very well which is odd but I can tell when he is stressed out and tired. I’m really looking forward to meeting him and just relaxing together and talking and sleeping.

I know I should be excited about sex but I’m not for some reason I’m more interested in knowing about him and making his body and mind relaxed. I really am looking forward to bathing him and lieing in bed together just touching each other.

I know that is being quite idealistic but sometimes two people can communicate so well just by touching and even though we both have a huge sex drive I really look forward to simple times and relaxing. I know that sounds boring as hell but it can be quite nice.

I’m not going to see much of him as it is so I am not interested in going to any place we cannot talk and get to know each other. He seems like a real nice guy and I really like his voice as it is manly yet boyish which I like. He seems to be getting used to talking to me more and he even offered to talk to me after he jacked off but I knew he needed to unwind.

I get the feeling he contacts me as soon as he walks in his door and that’s a nice feeling, real nice feeling. It’s nice to get to know someone without seeing them then there are no preconceived notions and I do not care what he looks like.

He’s tall and I like that, the men in my family were tall and they made me feel safe and protected so I guess that’s the attraction to height. The 28th can’t get here soon enough for me and that is something I am not used to. I am not used to looking forward to something and I like it, I like it a lot.