Planning

We spend our lives planning, from the time we are born we plan as that is how the brain works and it’s one of many purposes. We plan our futures and some plan them at a very early age, myself I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up.

Life can be pretty serious business at times but I think people have gotten way to serious, to stressed and to overworked. People in the States tend not to be the friendliest except Midwesterners and even they have become indifferent to others.

I am convinced that I am not of the attitude of most people today as I was raised in the sixties and still think that way. I believe in opening doors, saying thank you and you’re welcome, helping others, believing in God and home cooking.

By today’s standards I am a Neanderthal and I really do not mind as I have strong moral fiber as well as beliefs. I am learning to enjoy life again and I am basically happy as well as content and I feel good about myself and who I am.

I have learned not to put to much energy into planning my days or my future as I already know where I am headed without laying down the plans. Most have such little faith in God and they do not believe in angels either.

I believe in angels and God and I do have angel that watches over me, he is always there in the corner of the room or on my shoulder and yes, he does whisper into my ear. He has been with me since about November of last year.

Yes, I know you think the bipolar is rearing again don’t you? Well, it is not I can assure you of that and I do not mind admitting that I have an angel. My angel is always looking out for me and guiding me and he knows how hard life has been for me.

My angel has kept me from making any concrete plans until quite recently, as recently as today I have finally made a concrete committment to visit NY. I booked my flight so now I am committed and looking forward to getting away from it all.

It’s going to be nice to wake up without any demands placed on me and just go through the day letting it unfold before me. I am opening up like the bud of a flower and letting the good come into my life finally and I am looking forward to this vacation.

The First Time

My trip to NY is back on and I am so looking forward to it, I really am as I am starving for adult conversations and sharing time with another as I have been so lonely. I have no doubt that we will be having fantastic sex but I do not want that to be the number one attraction.

I want to do simple things in hidden away places as I do not want anyone interrupting my time with him. I may not know him but to have time with another adult, especially a male makes me excited. I haven’t spent any time with a man in so long and I crave it so.

He is starting to talk to me like he should and I do not feel trashy like I did when we first started talking. He is going to be quite amazed at how his body reacts when he is with me. He can forget all mind control because he will cum so fast he will be shocked.

He wants to be with me sexually so bad but he has never been with someone like me and if he has it’s been few and far between. I take romance very seriously and I like to take my time and make the person feel special because they are.

He is going to be very happy that is for sure because we are going to just enjoy each other so much. We will spend a lot of time laughing and having a good time. I’m so easy to please as I do not require much to make me happy.

I wish we would have a nice big bathtub for both of us to be together but I will be happy with a bed with clean sheets. I do not require much and I am not to picky when it comes to hotels as I know they are all nasty when you come down to it.

I am so looking forward to this trip and I really need it badly as I have had a hell of a time the last year and one half. Things have been rough and it’s time for Kimberly to take a breather and just relax and enjoy herself for a change.

I do not want him to feel like he has to keep me entertained every minute that we are together as just being together will be enough. I hope he is looking forward to my visit as much as I am and I think it will be good for him as well as myself.

I hope he doesn’t put on airs and pretend to be someone he isn’t because he is getting me, the real me and nobody else. So this will be as good as it gets and there will be no show, just plain old me and I am not that plain but a bit crazy, in fact a lot crazy and I love to laugh.

Guessing

I still think of him daily, in fact on and off all day, I worry about him constantly and I know he is fine but I am still concerned. He has it all but the one thing he really wants and needs and no one can help him but himself and he has found random casual sex is no longer fulfilling.

He is lonely but no one would ever think or guess that he is as he puts on such a happy face to all except to his best buddy. He knows what “the man” is lacking and he knows in time things will change for the man but as of now things will stay the same.

He is committed to his position and he gets lost in his dreams just waiting impatiently for the time he has waited for, for as long as he can remember. He knows what he wants and who he wants but he can do nothing about it right now.

He isn’t doing what he loves, no he is doing what he knows and at times he wishes things were different. He knows she waits and she cares and he knows she wants no one but him, yet they have never met but he knows where her heart is.

He knows she is not a typical woman and he knows she is different in many ways and he refuses to let go of what he wants. He stalks her online and he worries that someone will snatch her up before he gets an opportunity to even meet her.

He imagines what life would be like with her sexually and he wonders if she is real or she exaggerates who she is. He wonders so many things about her and he tests her constantly to see if she is committed to him and him alone.

She has given up on waiting and she is searching but will not find what she seeks as she seeks him and only him. He is special to her and always has been, she has not and will not open her heart to another because she knows what others do not.

She believes in destiny and God’s word and God has set his master plan in motion and he will see to it that the people that should be together will be together and nothing will stop that. 

Dust Bunnies

Looking back, I can remember calming my children’s fear of the “monster under the bed” that they so feared. I can remember them being to afraid to get out of bed to go to the bathroom unless I was there. That is what cartoons do to kids.

I told them the only thing under their beds were dust bunnies and the only time they came out was during the day to eat. I explained to my kids the dust bunnies were harmless and they slept all night and only came out to eat.

The kids wanted to know what the bunnies ate, so I told them they ate gummy bears. Every morning when the kids got up I would put down some gummy bears for the bunnies. When the kids came back to check if the bunnies had eaten, they would find not a single gummy bear anywhere.

The kids slowly began to believe in the bunnies and I told them the bunnies were there to protect them and if anyone came in to harm them the dust bunnies would attack them. The kids finally felt safe at night and went to bed without any problem.

I have always done cool things with my kids, like the treasure hunt I set up for them. I left notes in various places and they ran from place to place to read the next clue. Finally, they got to the last clue which lead them to a dirt pile in the backyard.

They dug and dug and finally found the treasure chest I had hidden in the dirt and they were so thrilled to open it up and find all kinds of trinkets and candy. I was always doing things like that for my kids and enjoyed every minute of it.

I made a marble cake for my son’s birthday one year and I actually hid a marble in the cake. I made sure that he got the piece of cake with the marble in it and I was careful not to let him swallow the marble. The kids believed for years that marble cakes had a marble in it.

I was telling my daughter about sexually transmitted diseases and parasites and she asked how do you get rid of crabs. I told her you shave one side, light the other side on fire and when they run to the shaved side you stab them with a fork.

You have to be careful what you tell children as my daughter believed me and I had to finally tell her the truth because she was just amazed someone would stab themselves to kill the crabs. I know that wasn’t right of me but what the hell, it was funny as hell for many years.

My children and I have a wonderful relationship as I am open and honest with them and they can ask me anything and tell me anything. We have an understanding, they are kids and kids need to experience for themselves.

I do not jump on my children when they do something I do not approve of, no we discuss it and then we close that issue out. My children are more mature than most their age because I have always treated them as individuals.

I have never ignored my children on purpose, well that is not true as sometimes I have to tune them out as most parents do. My kids fight for my attention and there just isn’t enough of me to go around but I am a proud parent and always will be.

If Life Were A Song

If life were a song would you sing it everyday? Would you skip to the beat as you walked through your home? If life were a song would you listen to the lyrics or just like the beat? If life were a song do you think you would be more complete and have answers to your questions?

If live were a song I would be dancing everyday and I would making others happy as I get so damn silly especially when I listen to music. Music moves me in so many ways and it rates right up there with words for me.

I have always loved to dance and when I was much younger I would go to the clubs with a friend of mine and we danced none stop. We had many a compliment and I had a lot of guys that wanted to dance with me. I am an expressive dancer and I really get into the music.

Dancing is another way of expressing one’s self and dancing can go from very innocent to quite sexual in no time at all. If you close your eyes and listen, really listen your body takes on a life of it’s own and you can tell when someone is really listening.

I have no musical talent at all and I envy those that are musically talented. The closest I get to playing an instrument is none other than the skin flute. Yes, I know you find that disgusting but at least I am honest and yes I am naughty and straight forward.