He Just Can’t Do It

I looked through the window looking at the streaming sunlight cutting through the rain drops as they headed for the ground. It’s not often you see it raining and shining at the same time. It’s quite beautiful and somewhat soothing.

I’m feeling really good about who I am and where I am at in my life and no one, not a single damn person can make me feel any different. The kids are back to school tomorrow and life moves forward as usual. My next quest is to set up a vacation for the kids and I in February.

I think of how it must feel to want something but you cannot let yourself go after it because you are so afraid. I have never felt like that but it must really suck more than a five dollar whore. I have the ability to move forward even during rough times and I have done just that.

It’s time to make the move to the next phase of my life and let my friends set me up. Yes, I hate the thought of that because I am so private, but who knows? I’m not looking to get married but if the possibility presents itself well then I have to take a good look at where I am at and where I want to be.

I know where I want to be and I am heading in that direction but I have time to make what ever adjustments need to be made to make the appropriate moves in the right direction. Like I said I wait for no one and have not as I have focused on myself and myself only.

Looking at serious retirement I am making plans for that move as well in a couple of years I will be out of here and the kids will have to come visit me. I’m ready for the world but is the world ready for me is the question I am not so sure about that.