Have you noticed the last several days how the weather has changed as for myself I seem to have the hazy lazy day syndrome. I just can’t seem to get it together, I’m just so laid back and have a “I don’t care” attitude, I’m so in the accept what is in front of you attitude and fuck it.
It’s very hard to put into words my emotional state because I rarely feel this relaxed and I guess I should be excited but I am not. I think I am very scared and so afraid of getting hurt. I’m not going to think negative but I have to realize this meeting could turn out bad, very bad.
Well, if that happens, I just have to accept it and through his ass down and take some because I shouldn’t be totally punished because the connection was not the best of one. Sometimes, people have to put aside their differences and man up if you know what I mean, lmao.
Most girls dream of growing up and living in the house on the corner with the white picket fence and 2.5 children. I never had that dream as a little girl, no I chose to dream bigger and boy did I lol. I have had this dream my entire life.
The dream I have never shared with anybody because I think it’s so not ever going to happen. I have always thought that my lover, my special soul mate would whisk me away to paris for lunch, lol. I know it’s ridiculous but that is a dream I have always had.
I just think it’s so damn romantic and that’s why one of my favorite movies is The Thomas Crown Affair remake. It is an awesome movie that really makes you think. There are billionaires that get bored and take off to the other side of the world just because.
I don’t want anything like that, no I just want that romantic connection that is safe and secure. I feel that my life is going to change very quickly and things are going to come my way which will require much thinking and quick decision making.
I know I sound like Im a nut but that’s just what I feel and my feelings are generally right on. It would be nice if my dream could come true but I’m not holding my breath. It’s just fun to have a little dream to yourself and no one has ever realized your dream.