Again

Back to the rv tomorrow evening to fix the sink as it is leaking and I need to get ready to winterize, it’s suppose to be a lovely weekend so I have no doubt I will be at the pool and taking it easy for a change. It’s such a beautiful time of year and such nice weather.

It’s to bad I’m not ready to extend an invitation to my new cutie because the campground is a perfect place to get to know someone. There’s something about nature that brings out the person in people and it’s such a relaxed atmosphere.

I guess I should be glad it hasn’t worked out with the “other” one but I cannot do anything about that as I did all I could but it wasn’t good enough. It’s ok, you can’t expect everyone to want to be with you and there is no sense in crying over something you can’t do anything about.

I am very fortunate because I do have someone who is very interested in me and I just got off a two hour call from overseas, can you beat that? I know I can’t and I can’t imagine spending two hours on the phone with anyone, I used to but that was long ago.

If all works out maybe I will invite him here for my birthday, who knows what tomorrow holds but I’m open to new and exciting things always and he is definitely new and yes he is definitely exciting. We had a really nice conversation and he is suppose to call me later again.

We don’t bother with the computer, nope went right to the phone which is so much better and he has the most romantic voice and accent, makes me want to do things, lol. I so hope this turns out well because I have finally reached the point of beyond pain and loneliness.

I guess I should go and buy a new king size mattress for my bed because I have a feeling I just might need it real soon. If I do invite him, I will have him stay with me because you never buy a cow before trying the milk out now do you?

Never Alone

Today has started out to be wonderful and has confirmed why I like foreign men so much more than American men. It’s such a mind blower to have someone from another country go so far as to ask for your address because they want to send you something, ya right.

Well, this morning proved it, I received several dozen bouquets of yellow roses, what a mind blower for sure, the card read “To a lovely woman I wish to meet”. Now how many people can say someone thinks enough of them to send them flowers from another country? lol.

Foreign men have a certain way about them that I find very attractive and I can’t wait until he comes to the states, but that won’t happen until I send him an invite and we aren’t quite there yet, if you know what I mean but he’s working it pretty impressively I must say.

It’s nice to know someone cares about you and no I don’t need flowers but it is a very lovely way of showing your affections. Foreign men are so much more romantic and treat women so much better from what I see in the main.

If I ever do marry again or get into a relationship it will definitely not be with an American man which is sad to say but is the truth. I like being treated like a lady and I like being respected and listened to as most people do I am sure. Ladies look beyond the water for an awesome love you just might find him.

Child To Parent

As we get older we tend to revert to being a child even to the point we must wear diapers. It is not easy for a child to watch their parent revert and even forget who they are. I received a call today from the home my mother is in and the Dr. needed my permission to treat my mother’s mental health issues.

Ask my mother and she will say”fuck you” there is nothing wrong with me but if you look at her history you can clearly see a person with mental set backs. I told the Dr. her history and now he can treat her accordingly because he couldn’t say to much but I told him what he needed to know.

My mother has relied on xanax for years to get her by but it never worked as she needed other meds. I know it sounds terrible for a daughter to refuse to put herself in a situation that could be harmful to her as well as her kids but sorry toxic people cannot be around healing people,

She could very easily destroy me and I will not let that happen and I do not have to let it happen either. You can actually damage someone to the point that they cannot associate with you and there is nothing wrong with protecting yourself from that danger.

Most parents can rely on their children in their old age but how you treat your child as they grow up will come back on you eventually, one way or the other. I took care of both of my grandmother’s and my in-laws but just cannot do it with my own mother.

She is very abusive to the staff at the home and she would be worse with me and I will not allow her to treat me that way any longer. I am learning not to let others treat me poorly as well but that seems to be a bit harder task for me to overcome, but I’m winning the battle.

I have noticed how we are treated as children is the same way we let other’s treat us and that isn’t right, not one bit. I find myself letting others treat me unfairly because I was raised that way. This is a very sad state to be in and can really hurt a lot.

I’m not someone who falls in a bucket of shit and comes out smelling like a rose, no I’m the type that falls in a bucket of shit and ends up smelling like a manure plant. You can’t even by animal manure without it being mixed with human waste, what is wrong with this world?

I am not going to apologize for my stand against my mother as she is being cared for and she has excellent health insurance because she listened to me long ago and signed up for the right insurance add on to medicaid, you have to always cover your butt in this world.

23 Words

I have counted them and twenty three words describe the feeling of betrayal all over again. I knew better than to believe he would meet me and he loves setting me up and watching me fall. He has really hurt me but that comes as no surprise.

I have no doubt I will hear from Joe again, ya he’s another joker a real winner and liar. I am through this time did it for me. I will not be treated in this manner and I have to much self respect to play childish games and it’s just not worth it.

I do not know who he is nor do I give a flying fuck as he seems to be quite taken with himself. What else is there to say? Twenty three words describe how I feel and that is all, just twenty three words. I hope he has enjoyed the game.

Au revoir

You are flying from here to France to Australia, mexico and a million other places so what is it you really want from me? You have the name and the fame so I have no idea what you want from me. I’m not interested in your name or your fame.

Why do you torment me so? Why do you do everything in your power to keep me in conversations with a million of your aliases? Do you think you can actually keep me from looking for someone who really wants to be with me? Is your problem that you would like to but just can’t at this time?

If that’s the case, damn step up and say so because when I am gone, I am gone for good and I may already be, who knows? I do not wish you anything but happiness in your life and hope that is what you really have at this time. My best, take care bb

Feel Like A Nut

Sometimes you 

Feel like a Nut

And sometimes you

Don’t

Personally, I feel like

A nut all day every 

Day

Sometimes I feel like

A bath

And sometimes I

Don’t

But over flowing

bubbles are 

Just to much

Fun

Sometimes I feel like

A walk holding

Hands

And sometimes I feel 

Like making love

Under the moonlight

On the hood of 

A car

Sometimes I just 

Want to be carefree

And Just

Me