The First Ten Lies

1. I want to hate you

2. I do not want you

3. You do not hurt me

4. I do not miss you

5. I no longer dream of you

6. I no longer cry because of you

7. I want you out of my life

8. I want someone else

9. I no longer want to see your picture

10. I want you happy with someone else

On My Knees

I wish he would show me something, some little sign that he cared at all that I am interested in another but he shows me nothing. My heart tells me he loves me but my head says differently and it’s a battle that leaves no winner.

I feel that he needs me and I do not know why or what for but I have such a strong feeling that I am in some way part of his life and maybe his future. I am so torn over my feelings that I am trying not to cry as this is all so very difficult for me.

I beg you please show me a sign, please

Severe The Tie

It’s time to let


It’s long past


I know longer

Want to be with 


You have once

Claimed me

And even tried

To tame


But it’s time to say

So long

We are not right

But completely

All wrong

He calls


And cares

He let’s

Me see


And wants to 

Share my


You do not

Have shoes

In the closet

Or keys on 

The night


You do 

Not want to

Be my 


And he


So severe

The ties

That have had

You bound

To me







The Scorpio Sag Pisces Me And The Aquarius New Man







Knowing your rising sign is as important as your sun sign and your moon sign rules your emotions, I have a pisces moon which is very emotional, psychic, empathetic

Scorpio and Pisces are water signs and that makes me very emotional and Sagittarius is a very spiritual sign, so I am very sensual (scorpio), loving (sagittarius) and emotional (pisces)



Erase my face

From your


Erase my 


From the crush 

Of your hand

Erase my love

As it means 


To your 


Erase my tears

As you never felt

The wetness

Erase my blood

From your


As I could bleed

To death and 

You would never know





Tripped On A Crack

I seem to be the person that always trips on the crack in the cement while others can walk right over it and never even know it’s there. I gave my heart away to someone who cares not for the damage they have been able to do to it.

I finally have met someone who does care for me and he shows it constantly and tells me and I have put the “old one” on a shelf and have let go of those feelings that once ruled me. He has never really cared for me and has proven by his absence in my day to day life.

I am not ready to give my heart to another but I am open to being treated as with my world is more than gold. The “new one” calls me all the time and has sent me flowers to show of his affection but am I ready to let him closer?

Not so sure about that quite yet but we have spoke of his visit as he is getting to be quite insistent on visiting me. He has offered to fly me to visit him but I have already been burned once and will not get burned twice so he will have to come to me.

For years I have thought of no one but “Reggio” but I mean nothing to him and I know it so I have started to fantasize about being with “G”. He is so supportive of me and we have such great conversations that I look forward to meeting him.

I have replaced “Reggio” with “G” and I am starting to dream about him as well, this is a good sign as I am letting go of “R”. I know one day I will be with the one I am suppose to be with but until then I will focus on “G” and forget about “R”. 

Life is to short to wait for those that have no interest in spending time with me or has the same goals in life but there are always people who come into our lives and really do nothing but drain us and take from us. Life is so much easier when we have someone who shows interest in us.

I have decide to finally yes finally after three years to let go of the skeleton that has been in my closet and he holds no love for me and I no longer fool myself into thinking it is true. I am moving on because I must and I will no longer be held back by a person that cares none for me.

“G” is showing great interest in me and I even had my first dream of him last night and I have begun to think more and more about him as every passing phone call gives me more thoughts of him and wanting to spend time with him.

No, I do not have feelings of love for him but I do enjoy him and I think I will be inviting him to stay with me in a couple weeks. He really excites my brain and he makes me laugh and makes me happy. The easiest way to forget someone is to replace them with someone as good if not better and I think I have finally found better.

The more interested I am in “G” the less I think about “R” and that is a good thing because I need a real man in my life not someone who spies on me and doesn’t really care for me at all. I have been nothing but a diversion for him as he builds up his “delta miles”.

The sad thing about “R” is he thinks fame and fortune will make him happy and he chases after it like a $100 bill in the wind. He has let what happiness that has come his way go right on past him and I have no room left in my life for him.


A Tortured Heart

You can torture your heart for only so long and then things must change or you go crazy. I have thought of no one else but one particular person for three years now and I have finally met someone else that is very exciting to me.

It’s easier to forget about someone when there is someone else that moves into the slot and keeps your life interesting.  When someone doesn’t even really know you exist and doesn’t want to be with you but prefers to spy on you, well it’s time to do the south shuffle.

I have found myself staring off and thinking about this new guy and I look forward to his calls and chatting. He’s funny, silly, smart, vocal and so much more and I really like him. I have finally given up on the other guy because he just isn’t for me and I have no choice but to accept it and let someone else fill his slot.