I’ve been seeing Barb my counselor for the past few months, I think it’s time for us to part as she has a thing about me smoking weed. She also started riding my ass about my dress-to much clevice and she thinks I should wear a bra. I do not think my dress is inappropriate but evidently she does.
I think she fails to realize I am paying her and she isn’t paying me, I personally don’t care what she thinks because I have a medical marijuana card and my shrink even agreed she rather me smoke a joint than take about a dozen pills a day. She says it makes me look like some kind of addict.
I am trying to get in and see this other therapist who is a no bull no-nonsense therapist. She tells you like it is so I have heard from another patient. I need someone to slap me in the face with reality and she may be the one that does. This thing with Ryan has got me so messed up, I mean I actually could not have lived if my son had died.
The grief would have been too much as the coincidences and reminders of how his dad died have all come to the surface and it’s like deja vu but in my case it happened. To see my son intibated like his father was, was such a vivid reminder that I actually looked at Ryan and saw Bob momentarily.
You won’t believe this but when I was at the hospital sitting next to Ryan looking at the tube down his throat and the iv’s, the heart monitor and I started to cry. I felt a hand on my shoulder but didn’t turn around and the voice said, “Kim our boy is going to be alright”.
It was my husband’s voice and it was so comforting and caring, when I lifted my head to look there was no one there. I felt a calm come over me and I knew that Ryan would be fine. My fears were all gone and I felt such a weight off my shoulders.
Once again, I have to take the medical profession by the horns and find a different counselor. Nothing against Barb, but we are no longer a fit and I have outgrown her. So many people stop counseling when they don’t like the counselor, they should look for another counselor.
People say counseling doesn’t work, yes it does you just have to click with your counselor and that isn’t easy for anyone to do. Yes, you can out grow your counselor and it’s time to move on and find someone else so you can start dealing with all the crap in the next phase of your counseling.