The Surprize

Has anyone ever said to you that they wanted to do something special for you? Then you begin to wonder if they were serious or not? Then you begin to wonder what someone could possibly get you based on what they know of you. My husband never bought me a single thing that I liked and always bought me vacuum type of gifts.

I can’t think of anything I need or what anyone could possibly buy me, I know it’s odd for a female not to care for gifts but I actually do not like getting gifts as I get embarrassed. I find it so embarrassing to receive a gift from someone and I have no idea why but I feel funny accepting a gift.

So here I sit wondering what this secret surprise is supposed to be and when am I to get it? On my birthday? I doubt it and bet it was just lip service. I don’t need to get excited over this because I seriously doubt that I will be receiving anything and that’s ok to but don’t talk shit if you can’t follow through.

Who Am Us

Do you know who you really are? Do you know who your spouse really is? Do you think you know everything there is to know about your significant other? LOL, please excuse me if I appear rude but I thought the same thing until I filed for divorce. A divorce brings out the ugly in a person and my husband didn’t play fair.

I have learned you never know what anyone is really capable of until you go through a break up and it doesn’t have to be a divorce. I get pretty pissed but I draw the line at saying certain things that could possibly hurt the other person in more ways than one and I don’t do that kind of shit.

I watch my kids change daily and it’s so odd to see them go from kids to young adults with their own thoughts and goals. I’m proud of my kids and know they will do just fine without me here to hold their hands. I plan on moving when my son graduates and enjoying my life with someone else, hopefully by that time things will have changed for someone I care for.

Astrology

I am fascinated by astrology and have been for over thirty years. I do not live my life day by day but I do pay attention to Mercury retrograde as mercury has to do with mental and communication. All types of communication is affected at that time as well as buying anything electrical or electronics.

Cars always break down at that time as well and you never want to sign a contract at that time either. Yes, I know you think I am nuts but aren’t you the one reading your horoscope in the paper? It’s ok, a lot of people think I am esoteric and no I am not being conceited, for some reason I am different I guess.

My friends tell me I am different, unique and the funny thing is they can’t put into words what exactly that they mean. They cannot describe me without laughing so I really don’t know how to take that reaction. I’m an “off the cuff” type person, I have been known to do and say things that knock people’s sox off.

Well, it looks like it’s going to be a hell of a next three years as Saturn is moving into the sign of scorpio, which is my sign. Saturn is a teaching planet and you learn a hell of a lot and it look like 2015 will finally be my year. Damn, if I believe that life is going to basically suck until then.

The one thing I did like is it said whatever I start will do very well and if I were to marry that would last as well. No, I am not going to get married unless

Fudge

Do you like fudge? I am sure you do, everybody loves chocolate and those that don’t are just missing the greatest thing in the world. I love chocolate but the funny thing is after I make something I have no desire to eat it. I really enjoy cooking and baking and tonight I decided to make some “cheater fudge” which is nothing more  than a can of condensed milk, 12 oz bag of chocolate chips and 4 TBS. of butter.

Microwave that puppy and add walnuts and there you go “cheater fudge”. The way I usually make fudge is cooking it and using a candy thermometer and cooking a sugary chocolate mess into the best damn fudge that your palette has been graced with. I make a lot of creme brulee to because I always have egg yolks available.

I like making berry pies and especially like strawberry rhubarb or real blueberry. I haven’t made a pie for myself in o I don’t know how long it’s been. I really enjoy cooking for someone else and sharing the deserts I make with Rick and Lynn, Rick and I are going to join the rec club and start working out.

I know that is funny but seriously I want to get healthier and lose some of these boobs. The boobs are the first to go when losing weight so that is good for me. Every guy loves big boobs and I have no idea why but a boob turns a guy on, lol. Anyway, Rick and I will keep each other in check. Rick said he bought a meter so he doesn’t walk anymore then a mile lol, I told him I was up to three miles a day last year and I want to get back up to that again.

I think I will join the entire family up as Miss Shelby will be coming home soon and Ryan could join me and Rick walking around the track and then we can go swimming. Ryan is my fish, he loves water and has been a water baby since birth-we always have fun in the pool and it’s great excerise.

I Miss

I miss my grandparents and living with them as a kid, I remember my grandmother putting coke bottles on the porch and it was so cold the pop froze and broke the bottle. I miss the chickens clucking and the rooster attacking my sister, lol – I miss the cows mooing for their breakfast and I miss the smell of the pigs.

I miss the smell of frying pork chops for breakfast and I miss the large vats of tea, the fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread, fried apples, sausages, eggs and all the pies my grandmother used to make. Have you noticed no one cooks like your mom? No one could cook or bake like my grandma’s.

I miss such a simple life, life was so easy then and when I got mad at my grandmother I would scribble on paper and put it in the mail box as the pages were to be letters sent to my mother. Of course after a while the mailman got pissed and told my grandmother and of course she scolded me, probably beat my ass with a switch.

I miss the special trips to the candy store and the peach vendor stopping my so my grandmother could by like 20 containers of peaches. I miss sitting in front of the washer and dryer waiting for my “gutty” to get washed and dried. My “gutty” was my security blanket and I noticed my kids never needed anything to make them feel secure.

Kids that have security blankets or toys are very insecure do to parental separation or one of the parents is gone a lot. I was so glad to see that I hadn’t raised insecure kids, at least I did something right. My kids will thank me one day for raising them the way I did and yes I made a lot of errors but I did a lot right as well.

The Weeping Willow

Do you ever daydream? I daydream a lot and I was lost in a daydream awhile ago, it was a beautiful daydream as I walked gingerly around the weeping willow which hung over the water’s edge. She was a beautiful tree as I touched her trunk and walked around her wearing my white flowing nightgown.

I put my toes into the water and then slipped the rest of my feet in the cool, refreshing water. I stood in the water up to my knees and pulled up my nightgown and removed it from my body. My nakedness welcomed the feel of the refreshing water as I walked deeper and deeper until I was up to my neck.

A  dashing fortyish young gentleman was picking up my nightgown and then looking at the water until he spotted me. I felt shivers run up my spine as I watched him disrobe and come into the water as well. He swan towards me and landed in front of me and kindly said “hello”, he grabbed me and kissed me like he had known me for years.

Our bodies introduced themselves in a very sensual way and his hardness was pressed up against pelvis. I put my legs around his waist and he slowly entered me and made love to me under the moon light. It felt great to be wanted again and to have a man in my arms and inside of me.

We swam back to shore and I laid my head on his chest as he laid on the ground. I felt asleep in the most peculiar way, with his heart beating in my ear. Such an unfamiliar sound to me as I have not been with a man in years, literally even though the sound was foreign it was soothing and welcoming at the same time.

I was shaken out of my daydream and I was really enjoying it to. P.S. isn’t that a beautiful Monet?