Do you see me? Do you hear me? Does anything I say have any affect on you? Who am I meant to be? What am I meant to do? Who am I meant to love? Where am I meant to be? These questions are troublesome as I cannot answer any of them and I am supposed to be so strong and intelligent.
I have kind of just drifted around for the past four years, not knowing who I am or who I want to be. I am sure I am not the only person that feels this way. I need a new challenge as life is stale and moldy, I need something exciting and invigorating if anything like that exists.
I was just thinking that I live better than a lot of people and a lot of people live much better than I do but I am complete as far as material shit. I really want for nothing but I can tell you I have a deeply restless soul that wants to fly like a bird to the place I dream of changing one day.
I don’t focus on that dream because I am not in the right place yet to make my dream come true. Most women have the dream of getting married but I have been there and done that and no, it wasn’t all it was cut out to be but I do have a motto that I will try anything once.
I have a little over two more years to go before my son will be off in college and I will be totally alone and yes I am going to be loving it. I have realized that I do have a purpose and yes I will fulfill my purpose in a matter of time, time heals all wounds and brings good things as well.