Give Me

You say you love me and we are soulmates, then show me you love me, want me, to be with me. Show me you care, show me something because I need something to believe in again, something to hold on to again. I love you so much and you know it but you do nothing but work, working yourself sick you are.

I had this naughty little fantasy about you and I cooking in the nude, we were surrounded by fruits and vegetables and you bent over and oops I dropped a carrot up your ass. Anyway this isn’t the blog to  post details about how my naughty little mind and tongue works but we had fun with all sorts of foods.

See, what you do to me, you make me think thoughts that make me crazy and it isn’t fair, no fair at all. I do hope if we ever do you meet you have eaten your post toasties, cheerios and wheaties because I am going to tear your latino ass up, you hear me? Ya, you sit back and laugh, we will see who is the last one laughing mr.

So do something wonderful for my birthday will you? No, calling isn’t what I am referring to I am talking about something really exciting and kinky, fun and crazy. Come on show me your wild side, some may think you a shy boy but get past that and you are a wild one that hasn’t met your match face to face.

Short Men

I have always been totally turned off by short men and that is anyone under 5’10”. I know it’s weird but I had tall relatives and all the men were at least 6’0″. Tall men make me feel safe and protected and for some reason being tall and towering over me as a child gave me a sense of safety.

Short men tend to have a Napoleon syndrome  personality and have to prove themselves by acting like a jerk when they are short. Short men I do believe feel insecure about their heighth and they abuse power or their position and I have noticed a lot of cops are short and they all have bald heads like they are of some special elite group.

Nothing is more of a turn off than someone abusing their power and forcing their will on another. I had a mexican boss that was short and what a complete moron he was. He tried to pull the “I have been discriminated against” defense when I filed a grievance against him. I was the grievance person on my shift and I filed more grievances than any other union steward.

He hated me with a passion and felt that I got special treatment because my husband was the boss. No, I did not get any special treatment, well maybe as he did get me new gloves when I needed them for work. This foreman gave mexicans a bad name in fact he gave short ugly men a bad name, period.

I wouldn’t screw him with my neighbors dick he was such an ass but some people are just that way. Anyway,  I like tall men and that will never change so for all the short men all I can say is good luck because you will never get my interest. Everyone has a special thing they like about the opposite sex and being tall is mine.

The Hurting

How do you let go of someone you love but you are hurting because of the connection? How do you say I love you but I cannot breathe without you but need too? How do you let go of the sadness that grips your heart? I need to know how because I surely do not know how.

I hate myself for loving him so much because it’s all one sided and is going nowhere fast. I can say he has been my rock, he has been there for me when I almost died but he helped to give me strength to take myself to the hospital. He has helped me through so many times and I have helped him as well.

He says we are soulmates, yet I have yet to meet him and that is what is hurting me so. He says we will meet one day, well one day is here and it’s time to show or go. I cannot keep living this way as it is just to damn lonely and I need to feel a man again, next to me, walking with me, talking with me, making love to me.

It’s a moment of comfort I need so badly, the hug of a naked male chest against mine, just a moment to know that I still can react to a man’s touch. I just want to be happy with someone, someone who loved me as much as I loved them and he is the one, so how do I let go?

Just For Me

Have you ever wanted something so bad that your heart aches for it? I’m not talking about wanting another person, no I am talking about something that just consumes you because you want it so bad? Sure you have at some time in your life and the only time I have felt like this is when I wanted a parka jacket as a kid.

My grandmother got me one that was green and I wanted the blue but I was just as thrilled to get the jacket as it meant so much to me. It was more than a jacket it helped keep my legs warm when I was waiting for the bus to go to school. Now I have that same burning wanting desire.

I miss my dogs so much that is my desire, to have a pair of yorkie pups that I can breed again one day. I would be happy with just one purebreed miniature yorkie. There is nothing like a dog to make life fun and happy for me and even though we have Khloe, Khloe would love to have a puppy to torment.

Cats love to abuse and tease dogs for some unknown reason and my pets are what makes me laugh and smile through out the day. Pets do some funny ass shit and a puppy and a kitten together really do some crazy stuff. I figure if I can’t have the man I want to be with then a puppy would make my day almost the same.

I really do enjoy my pets so much more than people because they are honest and want to give love as much as accept it. Pets, you can pour your heat and soul out to and they never stab you in the back. When you’re sick, they always stay by your side and they are just great company.

I have several good friends but only one I trust to tell everything to and even sometimes I cannot tell her things because I am so embarrassed to tell anyone. That’s why I need a puppy, I need a confidant twenty four seven and since I have to go without a human confidante then a puppy it will be, one day when I can afford one again.

Once again I am putting myself behind my kids as xmas is coming and I need to get these kids some nice things for a change. I can go without because I am used to doing that but the kids, well I have to make xmas special for them as it is the first full year their dad has been gone.

I don’t mind if xmas isn’t special for me as it hasn’t been in years anyway and there really is nothing I need or look forward to. The holidays havent meant anything to me since my family is all gone. Holidays used to be huge occasions in my family and the food, well the food went on for days. 

My grandmother we used to call “ma” she was from the south and “ma” is a southern term so they went hand in hand. She always made xmas is wonderful and as kids we got the advantage of hitting up several grandparents, aunts and uncles and we scored, boy did we score big.

Now, well now everyone is gone and it’s just me and the kids and there is no laughter and joking like there used to be and I don’t even bother to decorate a tree anymore. I have completely lost my holiday spirit before the season has even begun and I have got to get it back for the kids sake.