The Coal I Am

The saying “I am your rock” is commonly used but I prefer to think of myself as a piece of coal. Coal is natural, it is fuel and with enough pressure it becomes a diamond. I am a diamond and part of me is still “in the rough” but will become brilliant in time. Only a person that can see depth can see the real me.

There is so much of myself I have not let others see for fear of what they might think or use against me. I have learned I can never trust anyone fully and that has kept a part of myself hidden in the dark behind the door in the back of the house. Trust is so hard to give to others because we learn early that trust is broken easily.

I have no one I can trust even a little because people are users and that is today’s society. It’s sad that I cannot open up to anyone or let anyone in. Letting people know the real person I am is only going to end up with me being hurt again and again. I am not the only one to feel such loss and disappointment in the people of this time.

I expect a lot from people because I expect so much of myself and I am driven to succeed at whatever I have approached. I am head strong and determined and I expect that from others but it never happens. People are lazy and want everything to come to them easily.

Nothing comes easy for me, not a damn thing and I have learned so much which makes me a jack of all trades and master of none which doesn’t make my life fun or exciting. When I make up my mind, really make up my mind I can do anything and that is one thing that is quite admirable, or so I think so.

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