Don’t Hang On Snoopie

I have learned a few things in my life and the one thing I do know very well is behavior patterns. Relationships are pretty cut and dried and when someone is in another relationship with someone it becomes obvious by their actions. People cheat on each other all the time and after sometime they become so comfortable in their actions that the truth is can no longer be ignored.

There are people who refuse to admit what is before their eyes and so many people turn a blind eye to the infidelity. The signs are crystal clear as they cannot see you when they want or you want and you never see them on holidays or weekends they are usually “working”.

The cheater cannot accept your calls or hangs up on you unexpectically and they can’t spend the night with you and if they do it is rare. The cheater eventually forgets their lies and slips up by saying something they shouldn’t and then when questioned about it they come up with another lie.

The cheater never takes you anywhere because they do not want anyone to see them with you and have it get back to the one he is really with. Men and women both cheat and it used to be mostly men but those stats are changing as both sexes cheat, they not only cheat the person they are fooling around with they are cheating themselves and the one they were originally committed to.

 

The Key That Opens

I was having a conversation with a friend and she was telling me about this guy she had been dating for about six months. She told me how bought her beautiful things and how he helped her pay her bills and took her on an awesome vacation. I listened intently as she told me how great their lives were together and how they were going to get married in March next year.

Her face lit up as she told me all of this but the one thing I never heard out of her mouth was friendship. Not once did she mention how great of a friend he was or how much she was able to entrust to him. He had a key to her house and he would stop over randomly, always bringing her a gift.

Something just was missing from all of this “wonderfulness” and she was so impressed with the gifts, trip and helping her pay her bills. None of this is me and even though she is my friend I couldn’t sit there with my mouth shut. I finally sat back and looked at her and asked her if they were friends.

She said “what” and I asked her again if they were friends and she looked at me like I was an alien. She said to me that she never looked at him as a friend because he was such a wonderful person. I asked what was the most important thing in her relationships and she told me ” being loved”.

I am like anyone else I like to be loved as well but the key that opens my heart is friendship first. If you are not friends how can you build a relationship? Every relationship I have ever had started and ended with friendship, almost all anyway. They have all been based on friendship first because that is when you learn about the person.

Friendship is to important not to place first in any relationship and if you don’t have a great friendship how can you build a loving relationship? I know I need to feel secure in the friendship before I can go further because if you are a true friend to me you have taken the first step in a relationship.

To many people fall for the looks of another or their hot body and give no thought to being a friend and men look at women and think about having sex. Men have a difficult time being friends with a woman because the overtone of sex is always in the air. I have been fortunate enough to have great friendships with men and yes the relationships were good for a while until they no longer filled my void.

I am not hard to keep happy but there are a few things that I require in a relationship, one is respect and to respect someone does not include going through their purse or personal things, being questioned endlessly about other relationships and I do not like endless fits of jealousy.

Relationships should be built on friendship, trust and mutual respect not presents, trips and financial help but everyone looks at relationships differently. I prefer to build a solid foundation as friends first and see where it goes from there and sometimes it works out for a while and sometimes it doesn’t.

Celestino And I

I am really attracted to foreign men and that is all that I will date any longer, foreign men are quite different from American men in so many ways and I find that quite attractive. Celestino is foreign, I know you couldn’t tell by his name right? He is so hot he makes me crazy but it’s not his outer appeal that is hot, yes he is VERY attractive but his personality is awesome.

He is super romantic but such a gentleman and he has a way about him that is indescribable. He is so understanding and is willing to move slow because of my situation. I have explained to him my husband’s death of last year and how I haven’t been with another man in over 18 years.

He is big into family and he is making me dinner tonight which is hot to me, I love it when a man can cook because it’s something we both enjoy and can do together. He loves music like I do and he actually writes poetry, like I do and we seem to have so much in common.

He already has a nickname for me, mi vida and he says it a lot to me, especially when I answer the phone or get ready to hang up. He has this thing about holding my hands and looking into my eyes and he tells me how beautiful I am to him. I have told him we need to move slow and he says he is.

I really enjoy his company and our conversations are different, they are stimulating and different and he doesn’t talk about work. He is well off financially and drives all the way from Troy to see me. His mom and dad live down this way and that is why we ran into each other at the store.

He wants me to meet his parents but that is not going to happen for a long time. He did stay at my home the other night but the situation wasn’t two people playing slap and tickle. It was my birthday and I ran into him and we went to have a drink for my birthday and I got drunk.

My kids didn’t see him and they didn’t know he stayed over because he went in and out of the sliding glass door attached to my bedroom and the kids were already gone when we got up. I have explained to him that I do not want my kids meeting anyone I am seeing, at least not for quite a while.

He understands because he just got divorced and he said it was pretty ugly, he has three boys which are very handsome boys from their pictures. We have agreed to keep the kids on the outside until we feel comfortable which isn’t going to be for a long time for myself.

We talked about marriage in passing and we both feel the same way, being happy in a relationship is important and if the relationship is a good one then marriage isn’t necessary because the committment is already there. We look at life the same way and we both basically want the same things.

I never thought I would meet someone who meshed so well with me but I think I have found him, but that still remains to be seen. He has got my full attention and I am moving forward with him at a delightful pace. He doesn’t smoke or drink much and he is ok with me smoking weed.

When I look into his eyes I practically melt because he has those type of eyes and he listens when I talk, really listens. I really like him a lot but since he is the first guy I have dated since Bob died, I know this won’t go to far because I won’t let it. I want to date several men before I settle down again because I need to be sure I love the person this time around.

I still have feelings for someone else but that will never go anywhere and I know it so I have given up on him completely and moving forward. It would have been nice to have met him but he doesn’t want to meet me so I have no choice but to give up on him and Cele

Jealousy Controls

I used to be so jealous and it was a controller of my relationships, thank goodness that was in my twenties and younger. Jealousy can not only destroy a relationship it can also destroy the person feeling it. I finally out grew the controlling nature of jealousy and I still do get jealous, I think.

I am controlled by my emotions but that doesn’t include jealousy and controlling others. I do not like to be with a jealous person that cannot keep their emotions in check and I do not give others reason to be jealous. People use jealousy like they use love and it is quite unhealthy.

Jealousy seems to stem from insecurity and if you make me feel insecure once to often then there is no room for you in my life. I haven’t felt insecure in a relationship in so long I almost cannot remember how it feels, which is good. I do not need to make others feel insecure because I do not stay in any type of relationship that requires jealousy for validation.

Jealousy isn’t all bad and sometimes it is good but not to the degree that it leads to a huge blow up between two people. Every once in a while a healthy dose of jealousy can awaken what seems to have died. There are times when I have been accused of doing something I didn’t which provoked a jealous episode in someone.

I cannot help it if people are attracted to me or my personality and I cannot help it that I like men, I like them a lot as people and I do not lead anyone on. Men are naturally drawn to me and I have no idea why, really I do not it just happens and I get a long with gay men wonderfully, but don’t most women?

I have been in situations where I have been accused of “playing around” with another guy when I was with someone but that wasn’t true. I do not like to argue with anyone and making someone jealous will start an argument that doesn’t need to occur. I prefer to lavish my lover with attention, not someone who has no meaning in my life.

The One

Most people are taken by beauty of the face and thin bodies and they walk right past the girl who is overweight and not so beautiful. Yes, she may be beautiful and thin today but what will she look like in years to come? The facelift and botox will look like shit and yes she will end up with a fat ass most likely.

The women that have the good hearts, take care of their man and are good people sit on the park bench waiting patiently for someone to love them. That used to be me but no longer because I finally see my own self worth and those that do not have time for me are the losers in the grand scheme of things.

You think arm candy is going to make others jealous? Do you think the pretty woman with no personality is going to make you happy or the girl who wants to be with you because of who you are? All of us need to be cared for and loved but looks and a skinny body won’t guarantee that you get that.

Do not look my way and say “I can’t handle her because she is to wild” because you do not know me, all you know is the fisod I hide behind, the words that make you laugh while I am crying. You do not know who I really am and you do not want to take the time to get to know the real me.

Those that do know me know that I am as real as a person can be and I am a very warm and loving woman. You go on and chase that skirt and hope for the best because more than likely it won’t last because she will not give you what you want or need. She will play silly school girl games blowing smoke up your ass when you really need a foot up it.

Don’t compare me to others because there is no comparison and if you don’t like me now you sure won’t like me anymore later. There are a few things I like about myself and that is I don’t put on airs for anyone, what you see is what you get, I do not spend an hour putting on makeup and I never try to impress anyone.

The only relationship I was committed to for the last eighteen years was my marriage and no I never cheated even though I was unhappy and unsatisfied. When I am involved in a loving relationship I give my all plus more and I do whatever is necessary to keep the relationship fun and healthy.

I may not be the one for you but I am the one for someone who will see my worth and be more than happy to have me by his side. I say I will never get married again but who knows? Maybe I will and maybe I won’t it all depends on him and the situation and definitely on how the relationship goes.

I want a relationship that is committed but not stifling, filled with love and good times and work through the rough and bad times. I want a relationship where we communicate our problems to each other and not other people. I want a relationship that I know I can always count on the person and they can always count on me and I want a relationship that we are each other’s cheerleader without insecurities and jealousy.

Is there such a person out there? Is there such a relationship? I believe there is and my life is changing before my eyes and I want to share that with someone who is ready to really enjoy life. I want a relationship with someone who wants to grow with me and grow within themselves and I want to make someone smile every time they think of me.

I do believe in time I will have what I want and need and I am in no hurry to fill the other side of my bed. I have not given up on my hopes and wishes and I have not given up on my dreams. I might have modify them a bit but that is alright as well because I can be flexible.