The Question

The thought of running my fingers through his hair and how soft to the touch it was and looking into his eyes that made you want to melt. Walking hand in hand and sharing a simple conversation on a crisp fall evening made him so alluring to me. His jeans hugged his ass so sweetly and you just want to pinch it or at the very least, pat it.

He is silly and goofy and he is funny as he tries to outsmart me, I just laugh at his feeble attempts to stop me from moving on my journey and he wishes he could be on that journey with me. He is intelligent and sexy, serious and aloof and he can be such a, such a pain at times.

Who am I writing about? Who do you think I am writing about? Someone I met last week or someone I have known for years? You figure it out and if you can ease your questioning mind, great and if you lead yourself further into jealousy and anger then you lose now don’t you.

Hurting Place

Try as we do we cannot stop love from reaching a hopeless place that is a hurting place. We carry our hearts on our sleeve and someone comes along and squashed those good feelings. Letting go into a drowning pool is what it feels like for me and the seaweed wraps itself around my legs pulling me further down.

Is it a hopeless place we go  for so long or is it our own minds that place us there? Does love and the loss of it take us to the box with no lid, does it take us to the shower with no water? Dealing with loss of love is very difficult and painful to the heart for so many of us and we look at ourselves like fools gold.

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Mixed And Confusing Messages

Life can be so hard especially when your heart is involved and some of us just get so swept into a lost space that we cannot see the crumbled dirt along the pathway. We step into the dirt and get our feet dirty with lies we live and tales we have told. The light is hidden by the dark door of hell and we stay when we should go.

The dark sky keeps the stars from twinkling and the meteors from hitting earth and blowing our world apart. Life can be such a struggle at times and we know not where we are going. Emotions can take us to a place known as purgatory and our hearts can shatter as easily as a crystal vase hitting the marble floor.

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Have you thought about that final moment with someone who has stolen your heart? Have you thought of that moment when you turn and walk away and the silence that shadows you as you avoid the cracks in the walkway. Have you thought of how you will feel when you realize that the darkness has set upon your shadow and we is no longer a word in your vocabulary?

Do you wonder what your life will be like without that solemn one next to you, the one that makes you think and question as well as wonder and dream? Do you think you will lose no darkness if you keep that one close to heart? Do you think your sunshine is just fading away and you are ok with that?

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If you find that soulmate grab that person and hold them close because life is shorter than we could really ever image. The perfect two will be together no matter what others say or do. We all come together in the time that is meant for us and us alone and there is no changing time, now is there?

 

To Be Me

I am very sensitive and shy but most think I am quite the opposite because they do not know me. The front I put on is my armor against the world. I wear it well and have conveyed to many that I am tough and totally uncontrollable because it keeps them at arm’s length.

There are many of us, hurt souls that want the love that we are entitled to but we push it away because the fear of intimacy is our prison and keeps us from dealing with what we need the most. I want the world to see the real me for a change and I am slowly letting down my guard and the window is open and it blows in fresh air as I do this.

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If you see me crying it’s because sadness has decided to steal my tears away as I celebrate through those tears. If you know me you will see a change in me that is unique and distinctly to myself. I am shedding my old skin and emerging fresh and exciting, wonderfully entertaining as well as enlightening.

Just watch me grow into a woman who is more awesome than the one that is currently surviving behind steel wall. There’s an answer to all questions we have. I am searching for my answers and guidance into the next phrase of breathing for me. I am me and you must love me as I am and as I evolve, sit back and applaud my transformation.

 

The Hider

Glasses are sexy on anyone and I wear mine all the time, either my sunglasses or my regular ones. I like my sunglasses because they hide my eyes, my eyes are the window to my soul and I am not open to letting just anyone touch that within me. It will take someone pretty special to get near my soul.

I think glasses make people look more attractive, more intelligent sometimes and so damn sexy. My son noticed for the first time my regular glasses. I wear them to watch tv or to see long distances. He is used to seeing me in my sunglasses and he told me I look pretty good wearing them, lol.

Some do not like the way they look wearing glasses and refuse to wear them when they need them, kids sometimes feel this way. I have had contacts but prefer my glasses and I do not look bad wearing them. I like sunglasses as well on others because the right frame can make someone look really attractive.

Escape Us

Who doesn’t want to escape once in a while? Who doesn’t want to be a kid again jump into rain puddles and make snow angels? Who doesn’t want to feel free and embrace the stars? I believe all of us have felt that way and it is good to escape and leave it all behind and grab what is ours.

I escape every day into a tempo that makes me feel good and smile. I cannot hold a note with a basked but I do love to sing and everyone sings in their cars or shower, don’t they? Music is my greatest and easiest escape because it reminds me of people, places and things that I once loved or still do.

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I think I was involved music in my past life but then again I also think I was an attorney or involved heavily into law. I believe in past lives, karma, evil and good and I believe God has set a path for all of us. Being as spiritual as I am I know in my heart that God watches over me and I am his instrument.

I think God is pretty amazing even though he has had some pretty shitty things happen to me at times. He knows I need to learn and my stubborn ass needs to be shook up sometimes. It’s ok God because for every bad thing that has happened good things seem to follow and it’s about getting rid of the old making room for the new.

My life is starting to change and I can feel it and the way I am dealing and deciphering problems is changing in a more positive way. I am doing the work that needs to be done and I am eliminating items, legal problems and people who are not bringing positive into my life.

I really have to figure out what I want and go after it because I really do not know what I want other than a warm, loving, affection and secure relationship that isn’t controlling or stifling. I would like to have a relationship that allows us to constantly communicate and enjoy ourselves as well as the world around us.