Meaty Carcass

The smallest turkey was huge for my little family of four, I have turkey coming out of my ears and I still cannot throw awau the turkey carcass. I am boiling it right now and the meat will eventually fall off of it and I will have a delicious blend of turkey juices and poultry. This is perfect for soups, turkey pot pie, turkey Tetrazzini and turkey and noodles.

I take this and freeze it in several bags so I have the juices and turkey already for another meal. If you have never made turkey Tetrazzini look up the chicken Tetrazzini recipe and substitute the chicken. It is really good and impressive too, lol and it tastes great. Some people refuse to eat left overs but in this house you eat what is here.

A homemade meal is no longer easy to come by but in my house you will always be served a homemade meal. I have frozen crap in the freezer as well but I prefer the homemade meal. I think most people feel that way and kids, well most kids survive on fast food and they flip over a real meal.

The worse part of any meal for me is doing the dishes, it isn’t fair that I slave over a hot stove and have to do the dishes as well. I think if you cook someone else should do the dishes and put them away. Being stuck preparing the meal and cleaning up afterwards isn’t right and I think it is selfish.

Couch Contestant

My kids like to watch games shows and I can’t stand watching them because I get so pissed. Ryan likes Family Feud and Shelby likes Jeopardy. I am the worse couch contestant because I start screaming at those dumb people because they can’t come up with simple answer.

Ok, question 1, what item are you most likely to steal from a hotel room? The lamp, perfect answer right? Like I am walking out of a hotel with their lamp, lmao-this is the stupidity that makes me crazy and I actually yell at the tv and tell the contestant what a stupid ass they are.

I don’t care for Jeopardy because I dont  have the answers but every once in a while I know the answer and scare the shit out of myself. Even my kids are amazed their mom had a correct answer and they look at me like I am friggin Einstein, lol. It always impresses your kids when you have the correct answer and I think this is because mostly we baffle them with our bullshit. 

When we have the correct answer we are like the shining pillars holding up a great building, don’t you just love those moments? My daughter describes me as a person that can do anything and that is one hell of a compliment. It reminds me that my daughter sees me as an independent woman and I like that, hopefully she stays independent.

I prefer to watch the history channel and I don’t watch the news because it’s to depressing all the time. Here we go again another stupid shit on Family Feud, why can’t I reach through the tv and slap these fools? It would make me feel so much better, lmao. Where do they get these contestants anyway?

There was a huge scandal at one time about the networks giving the answers to the contestants and the shows were all rigged. Why does that not surprise me? Why wasn’t I living back then and be a lucky contestant? I could use a new washer and dryer and my dishwasher is for shit so throw one of those in to.

The Empty Chair

I was so hoping to have a nice dinner with my kids and James but Ryan didn’t take his meds last night and I saw them today and he took them before I could stop him. Of course he passed out because he has pills for sleeping and so as it goes he fell asleep on the couch and Shelby, James and I had dinner.

The fourth chair sat empty and I avoided looking at that chair because I didn’t want to think about Bob but it was a distraction none the less. This is the second Thanksgiving without Bob and that is a good thing because the second holidays without your spouse is kind of  a landmark for healing.

The first holidays are always the roughest and the second ones you seem to “remember when” and for me it has been easier than the first one for sure. These are mile stones I need before I can move on completely and I am glad I am not in a serious relationship because these are things I need to do myself and for myself.

No one can ever feel what you feel or think what you think and that is exactly why this is my “healing time”. I have to heal myself before I can let myself get seriously involved with anyone. Once I get past this year and the kids birthdays there will only be Bob’s birthday, Shelby’s graduation and our anniversary.

Once I am past those occasions then I will feel much better about getting seriously involved. I would like to meet someone and have a long distant relationship because I would like to know someone slowly. A long distant relationship would give me time to adjust to someone in my life and give both of us a chance to get to know each other while we continued to work on our own lives.

I want to have a lasting relationship and I think working on one slowly gives both people breathing room and not feel pressured. I am not one that is happy to skip down the aisle anytime soon if ever again. I would like to have an open relationship for a while until both of us feel we want to be exclusive.

The Whooo In U

Do you know who you really are, I mean the person inside and how would you describe yourself? Be honest with yourself and write down a description of yourself, the real who in you. It is hard for us to be totally honest with ourselves as far as the type of person we really are. Who wants to admit to themselves that they are a true scumbag?

Like the jerk that ripped me off and once again court is involved because I have to take him to small claims court. I am thinking it would so much easier if I just threw a pillow case over his head and beat the shit out of him with a baseball bat ;). Hey I just roll that way and yes that is the ugly who in me.

I am a very kind, warm, loving, caring, empathetic, helpful, loving, intelligent, bitch, jealous occasionally, sarcastic, sensual, sexual, I hold on to negative emotions for to long like if I am mad at someone, I can be very stubborn, hateful, uncaring, cold, verbally abusive at times, emotional, gullible, naive,responsible, driven, funny,this is just a small portion of the who inside me. I read that list and I do not like the negative part of myself and every time I look at this list or rewrite a new one I work a little harder on eliminating the negative.

It is hard to be honest with yourself and to get rid of the part of yourself you do not like and it is a slap in the face when you accept the negative with the positive. I ended my self description on a positive note don’t you know, because I know the last thing a person hears or reads is what they tend to remember, so if you ever write a resume always leave yourself a real nice bonus by using this little trick.

When you are having a conversation with someone you should always leave the conversation with something positive said. I went through the grocery line the other day and I watched as the cashier was really being dumped on by a customer. I felt really bad for her when I got up there and I told her that was unneccessary and I could see she was embarrassed

She had the cutest haircut and it made her eyes really stick out. She was a pretty young lady and I told her “with her looks she was going to rule the male population and her haircut was just to damn cut”. She was so flattered and smiled and blushed and then thanked me.

How much did that cost? Not a damn penny but the worth it had for her was priceless and its little things like this that I do and it makes me feel good to see I have made someone feel good about themselves. Why do I do this? Quite simple, nobody ever did it for me and then one day someone did.

That made me feel so good about myself and I have received just as much as I have given.  It’s little things like that, that make the world a good place once in a while and I am glad to partake in it. People really enjoy those moments when we feel good about ourselves and we feel accomplished.

The Michael Lick

I got my puppies yesterday and what a riot! Michael and Gabriel, my Archangels are just adorable. Ryan held them all the way home and now Michael is crazy for Ryan. They have the best personalities and Michael is the adventurous one and Gabriel follows him but he is more laid back.

Puppy love is wonderful therapy and the change in Ryan is phenomenal and I am surprised that he is being so responsible and taking care of them. He thinks it’s great that Michael has chosen him over me and that is fine because Ryan is laughing and playing with them and I haven’t seen Ryan this happy since he was a baby.


When we got home Ryan was sitting on the couch and Michael started licking his face and Ryan just laughed and laughed. He is really enjoying these little guys and I am to. I am never amazed how pets are wonderful therapy for anyone and those fighting depression cannot hold back their empathy for these little guys



I have also noticed the smaller the dog the depressed person is liable to be more taken by the puppy. I think the reason for this is they are so small that you automatically feel they need to be protected. I have steps for the puppies because if they jump off the couch they could really hurt a leg.

These little guys warm the cockles of my heart and make me smile. These little ones are my angels and they are a great investment for me. Investing in your own happiness is important and that is what I am doing, finally investing into my own happiness, and no I do not feel one bit guilty.


It’s All Mental

It is so hard to wait for someone and it must be equally as hard to want to be with someone but you cannot, at least not at that time. When we wait we build up a vision of the person as we see them, not as they are.

It is hard to hold on to your dreams, hopes and wishes when you do not have the important answers. One thing I do know is when two souls belong together they definitely will eventually be together.

Love is one of the strongest emotions we have and it controls us like no other. Men want love to but differently from women and men want sex. If you keep your man sexually satisfied and mentally stimulated you will have a happy life.


Travel Rocks

I do not have a clue of what I want in my life but I do know in two more years I am out of here. I am working on getting rid of stuff and I have a lot of stuff and I will be so glad to get rid of it.

I am trying to put as much crap online for sale as possible with xmas so close already people are snatching up my books. I made about 130 dollars last week which isn’t bad for books that I do not need.

I am still donating more stuff to Salvation Army and I want to get rid of as much as possible. Shelby is going to need stuff and so is Ryan so I am looking at getting rid of stuff between the two of them.

I have heirlooms that I have no use for like my mother in-laws china, I am just going to put that stuff online as well. I have my great grandmother’s china which is being passed to Shelby. 

Shelby wants my wedding ring which I think is b.s. because she shouldn’t be using my ring to enhance hers and she told me she wants some diamonds from Bob’s ring and my ring. My ring is worth around 7 or 8 thousand and it is beautiful.

I think I should just sell it and I can replace a banquet for Shelby, that girl does not need my wedding. If her “fiance” at the time can’t afford I nice ring well then he gotta go because her taste is too expensive.