Must The Father

A man loves his children as much as the mother but in a different way and men can and are just as responsible if not more with their children. I do not think either parent should bring a new person around unless they are sure that person is going to be around.

Divorce is very hard on children and they need to adjust even if the parents were separated. It is not easy for any child to see the hurt and anger between their parents and even if you hide it from them, you have hid nothing as they saw the writing on the wall long ago and dreaded it.

When you get involved with someone you need to have a clear understanding of what is expected of each other and their children. I would never get mad if the man I was seeing wanted to be with his kids or had to do something with his children, say if one were to get married I would not feel comfortable attending such an event unless we had been together a long time.

I think if you have been seeing someone on a steady basis for 3-6 months then it is safe to bet you will be together for a while longer. If you have a long distance relationship then you have to base your decision on the time you have spent together, not the time you have communicated on the computer or phone.

To build a relationship two people must spend time together and learn about each other and their likes, dislikes, bad habits, ect. I think we must have a meeting of the minds and mutual respect and the kids play a very important part of my relationship with anyone.

Firm

I have been sleeping on a queen size mattress on my king size bed because i threw away my mattress after Bob died. Today, the kids and I went and bought a new one and we got a 60″ tv. They come tomorrow and James will finally have a mattress for his bed, the mattress is really comfortable if you do not have back problems.

I settled on an extra firm mattress and I almost fell asleep while they wrote it up, I am hoping to sleep better finally because I toss and turn too much and soft mattresses are painful for my hip and back. Age is something on the body and I have torn up my back helping Bob and now my shoulder from my son trying to commit suicide.

Half my daily battle is getting through the day with as little pain as possible and I really need my sleep or I am really bitchy. I think this may help me quite a bit because no pain I feel great but when I wake up hurting I am so damn miserable.

Promise

I hate when someone makes me a promise and doesnt keep it and I no longer believe anyone’s promises. I am sure some people have good intentions but most do not follow through with their promise. Don’t make a promise you cannot keep because it hurts people and that isn’t right.

Bypass Child

It is difficult for me to accept the fact that my daughter will be leaving for college before I know it. Yes, she still has to graduate high school but even that is a blink away. Because of circumstances beyond my control my has been living with her boyfriend and I will tell you that goes over like a lead fart with me.

Those that know me are surprised at my reaction regarding my daughter because they never knew I would be so against my daughter living with her bf. Yes, it bothers me because I feel he has too much influence over her and no influence from me at all, and his mother also puts her two cents in as well.

I was very hurt when Shelby was driven to U of D by her bf’s mom and he went along. Those are trips her and I should be taking together and I was really pissed and hurt. I wanted her to come stay at home this week because she is off of school but she didn’t want to and we got into a huge fight.

I thought about it and I have finally accepted the cold hard facts which are she is going to be 18, she is going to do what she wants and she is a brilliant young lady that has lived the last three years in a very difficult place. She is to smart and to pretty for her current bf but for me to keep them from each other is just going to push them closer together.

I am hoping once she starts work and college she will see he needs to grow up quite a bit. I will go on a nut if she spends a dime of her settlement on him instead of school but once again I cannot control that either. I cannot control her at all and I actually do not want to.

I apologized to her and explained to her how hard it was for me not to have her at home and I will be letting her go for good very soon. I had to admit that I wasn’t mad but very hurt and that showing anger was a way to protective myself from further hurt. The honesty on my part has brought us closer together and I can feel us rebuilding our relationship, which is great.

Imagine

Imagine a time and place when men courted women and the woman’s female family members followed behind the couple as they walked. Imagine a time and place when the woman  carried her husband’s child inside of her and cooked a homemade meal. Imagine a time and place where the family was all that mattered and nobody messed with the family.

Those times are past us unfortunately but I wonder if they still exist in Italy or am I to caught up in the “Godfather”? I am old fashioned and I like living that way because that is all I have to hold onto is my memories. I think men appreciate being treated a certain way and I think they appreciate a woman who is capable of fixing a meal and taking care of him in the bedroom.

I imagine one day that my life will fall into its place and I will have my hopes and dreams come true. I would like to have a little ranch with black raspberry bushes growing and a little garden. It doesn’t matter how big or how small your dreams are they will not happen until the right time.

 

Heavy Cream

I still do childish things but one thing that I do not like is when someone drinks out of the milk container. That is just, I don’t know something that turns me off. Now let the truth be known the empty whip cream can in the fridge is irritating at best. I still grab the can and squirt it in my mouth like a kid.

I still like peanut butter and jelly to and I am a Jif peanut butter girl. Some things never change and that is one of them, I will always love ice cream as well. All the women in my family have been ice cream lovers and I really like chocolate chocolate ice cream, I like the real rich kind made with cream instead of fake crap.

I also still like red velvet cake with green cream cheese frosting, my great grandmother made me that cake every year and I still hold on to that memory on my birthday, don’t ask me why the frosting was green, she probably asked me what color I wanted it. There are just some things from our childhood’s that stick with us.