I am simplifying my life and I am throwing more and more stuff away every day. It’s as if I need to trash the dead part of my life before I can move on. It feels like all this “stuff” weighs me down from flying high like I should be.
I seriously could walk away from this house and never look back again. The nosey bitch neighbor across the street now knows that I have the boys and she will cause me as much trouble as she can this summer. It’s easy to keep the boys in the yard with the little fence I put up.
Michael is such a mischievous one and Gabriel is such a good listener while Michael ignores me. Gabriel loves to sleep right up next to me and Michael behind my back. Khloe has to join the boys and she is a pain in the ass sometimes.
It’s looking like Ryan will never come home again and he will probably end up in a group home. This is killing me but I can’t let him kill me or Shelby. I can no longer trust my son and that is a dagger in my heart.
My brother refused to live in a group home and lived on the streets and was found dead in a vestibule of an apartment building. My son I hope does not end up the same way but I have to turn my back for the good of both of us right now.
Ryan is at that age that he is learning that his strength and size is intimidating to others and he seems to think he has the right to use that on me. I have tried to discipline the kids, in fact I always did the disciplining because Bob never wanted to be the bad guy.