When you go out with someone for the first time, do you expect to get laid? Hoping you get a bj at least? What has happened to gentlemen and ladies? What has happened to getting to know someone before sex? The world has flipped, sex first and maybe if it’s good I will want to know your name. As much as I want sex I cannot just fuck someone and it pisses me off.
I know what I need and sex is definitely it but I just cannot or maybe I will not fuck someone for the sake of fucking. I am just not that girl and I am glad I am not because who knows what you will pick up from people and they aren’t honest. Herpes is a perfect example, a condom will not keep you from getting it because some people only get one tiny blister while others get more.
Tell me, do you have a magnifying glass to check out someone’s genitals? You can sleep with someone without catching herpes if they are considerate and do not have sex during a break out. I do not sleep with just anybody because that is me and it’s been years since I have been with a man and I honestly do not know about dating because I do not do well at it.
I have started to date and of course they all think they are getting laid at the end of the night, not happening to their dismay. Mr. Hockey thought I would fuck him and I haven’t and that seems to be a bit of a challenge for him, he told me he has never been turned down for sex and I said to him “what a shame” because if a girl fucks you on the first date, how many other first dates got fucked as well?
Women want marriage and they will sell themselves down the river thinking that fucking a man is going to get them wed. I do not worry about that because I have been there and raised my kids and it’s not all that wonderful and yes marriage is work, damn hard work especially when kids are involved. I cannot stand to see divorced parents hang onto their kids until a potential partner enters the picture.
I do not agree with divorced or widowed parents bringing someone new into their kids lives until the relationship has a solid foundation and there is serious potential for a long commitment. I think you should introduce your “new mate” to your parents before your children because parents especially mother’s can tell you what you do not see.
A father, well father’s are men and men can be manipulated quite easily and a father will fall in love with your new mate while your mom will tell you everything that is wrong with her, lol. it’s a mom thing. My son will never marry a woman that cannot cook unless she can fuck great, men are stupid and they put sex on top of the totem pole.
You cannot make love to someone on a first date because you do not know them so how can you bring on your A game? You do not know what they like or do not like, what would offend them, insult them or just piss them off. I do not like a guy to try to bed me the first time I go out with him or the second and maybe the third, it depends on the chemistry, the person, the situation.
I know my value as a person and I do not need to use sex to get a man, if he wants to be in my life then he is going to have to earn this pussy. I do not mean fancy dinners and expensive gifts, I mean quality time and he must show an interest in my life and me and he must accept the fact that I have a mentally ill child, which right away pretty much clears the slate of men for me.
I am honest with people and once they get to know me then I tell them I have bipolar but it’s controlled with meds and if you get to know me you wouldn’t even know that I have bipolar. You have to accept the illness before you accept you need meds daily and it’s just like being a diabetic you need meds daily. People refuse to give mentally ill people a chance and they judge immediately and it isn’t fair but it’s life.
If I ever do marry again, I will marry someplace hidden from the world where people can’t dig into my past because they do not need to know my name and marrying maybe in another country might be the way to go, who knows I am not thinking of marriage, hell I am not even thinking about a comitted relationship with a real person, I am just trying to get through each day.
I can’t wait to sell this house and start life again because this house holds to many memories good as well as bad and it’s to much for me. I do not know if Ryan will ever come home but if he does he is going to have to really work on himself. I miss him terribly but I really think once Ryan gets through these teenage years and a lot of therapy he will get better.
He no doubt is starting to hate his confinement but he did it to himself and God doesn’t make things happen for no reason and actually what Ry did was the best thing at the time even though it hurt me terribly. I havent talked to Ry on purpose because without me to lean on he has to lean on himself to make his life better and mom will not rescue him any longer.