A New Kind Of Stupid

James thinks I am a complete bafoon, he showed up at the door and said he remembered where his wallet was, he said he left it on the washer, what bullshit like I don’t do laundry? Then he said it was on the dryer and I told him he was full of shit. Then he tells me he bought his buddies ipod off of him and I told him “fuck you, you are not coming in and I want my ipod back” and I closed the door. This kid is pushing me and I just might have to drop a quarter on his ass and call his probation officer.

He calls me “ma” like that means anything to me coming from him and I am sick of his crap, helping him was a HUGE mistake but it won’t happen twice. I am not a cold and uncaring person but I am not a complete idiot everyday either, yes sometimes I do have my shit together and do what “normal” people would do. I had a really good day going until he disrupted it and now I am taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself, it takes a lot to get me mad but when I do I stay mad for a while and no that doesn’t mean 1/2 hour later.

He just keeps pushing me and lie after lie I cannot take because lying doesn’t serve me well and never has. Everyone has one thing that rubs them the wrong way and it could be shoes left all over, clothes on the floor, the toilet paper roll on the wrong way and yes I am an over not under, lol. Lying is my Achilles heel and it has a lot to do with my Sag rising as does my spirituality and always helping others, it’s part of my makeup and that will never change. I so enjoy making people laugh and I have been told that I am funny but I don’t see it.

I say things that make people laugh because it’s how I express myself and I don’t plan it, hell it just tumbles out of my mouth as does my frankness. If you don’t want to hear the truth don’t ask me and there are occasions you need not ask because I will tell you anyway. I don’t mean to hurt people’s feelings but I do and I have gotten better at it over the years but some would say different, but I have tried to not be so abrasive but some things you just can’t change and I can be one mean bitch when provoked.

My day was good as I went to the grocery and got the things I needed to make Ry’s favorite birthday cake, Tres Leche and he is going to be tickled pink when Shel and I show up with gifts and his cake on Sunday. I’m going to have to drive from home to Pontiac and spend a few hours with Ry and then to Jackson to get picks of the RV and then back home and the sooner I get those pics the sooner I can hopefully sell the RV. I will sell it this year I am hoping along with the house and my moms property in Florida and my sister isn’t getting shit.

She has been jacking me around since last August regarding the stock my grandmother left me, well I fixed her ass today because she sent me the paperwork a while back and I called the company and pretended to be her. I gave them the info they needed to transfer the stock to myself and I am going to sell it and hopefully dump it by the end of March. I do not want any ties to Florida because there are so many bad memories and the way my grandmother suffered so. John my grandmother’s boyfriend I would so love to trip down the stairs for what he did to her.

Once I dump the property, all of it I will have several hundred thousand dollars to last the rest of my life and I do think it is more than enough to see me to my death. I worry about my kids if something were to happen to me and I need to draw up a new will. People tend to forget to take care of that important document and then when they die, the people they really want to have their stuff and money don’t get it. I have done a lot of stupid things in my life but when it comes to my kids I do not play and am always thinking of them.

My happiness comes from Gabriel and Michael, my angels-they keep me laughing and they sleep up against me at night which is comforting to me. Khloe sleeps at the end of the bed and plays with my toes which of course I tease her with. I lie in bed in the morning and play with my boys and that starts my day off with a smile and that is as it should be and they make me so happy, especially Gabriel because he is the smaller of the two. Khloe is fun to and she is such a crazy cat but she keeps me laughing so much as well.

My life is pretty boring and I don’t leave the house for days at a time because I can’t stand the people in this world and how they act, so rude, selfish and greedy are most and I am not of this century and never can see myself being that way. I pray for guidance and to do what is right and I try so hard to be a good person and do not always succeed but I do try and I am not an evil person with a black heart, in fact I do believe my heart is a new shade of red that most cannot see and never will.

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