The Cut

I had surgery this morning, very early in fact to damn early for my taste and big Rick stayed and waited to see how it went. I was surprised that it didn’t take longer and it was out patient so that was nice, as I could sleep off the medication in my own bed. The pain meds wore off and I took some more for pain, and yes it hurts like hell but one good thing is the dr. was able to cut under a scar I already had and he told me when the stitches dissolve I wouldn’t even know I had surgery. 

Rick got so mad at me for not telling him the truth of the surgery and he told me to call him if I needed anything but I won’t because I am that way. The report the dr. gave Rick was FABULOUS but I have to go back to the dr. for a check up and I really like him a lot. He told me the way I accepted the news he initially gave me was not what he expected, I actually busted out  laughing when he told me, yes quite an unorthodox reaction but I explained to him that crying wouldn’t change a thing and laughing was my way of saying fuck you, I will beat you.

He told me I was one of the most positive people he had ever met and he also mentioned that I appeared to be a strong woman, as if I had a choice. I am one of those people who is just not going lay down and die for anything that tries to take me down, I have two wonderful kids that rely on me to be there for them and to always be strong. When I look back at my life experiences there is no way any one would believe me if I told them the life I had lived because most do not go through the trials and tribulations that have fallen on my shoulders.

All I need is just one person to believe in me and I could soar higher than the clouds but that person and that day have yet to come my way. I have dreams like everyone else but the difference between me and others is my dreams will come true, it’s just not time yet for me. If you want your hopes and dreams to come true than you have to pray for them and you have to believe they will happen and usually there is some sort of sacrifice we must give to get, but the door will open for me to walk through soon enough.

I know someone has tried to build me up by pretending they are 100 different people reading my blog, facebook ect. and this doesn’t build me up but actually tears me down because I know it is “him” and no one else. People do not realize that when you try to build someone up the wrong way, the are actually hurting the person more. I wish the person that wants to build me up would do it himself and not all the fakes he uses, he insults my intelligence over and over and I am sick to fucking death of him thinking I am so damn stupid, because I AM NOT.