Have you ever met someone and said you liked that person just the way they are, but you actually didn’t? I have been telling someone who I like him just the way he is but I have realized thats not true and I have finally realized he is who he is and I have to accept what I do not care for, which is his fame and fortune. That makes up a huge part of who he is and I cannot accept only part of him but I must accept him in his entirety and I have no choice but to accept that part of his life if I am to love him completely.
He has learned so much by his fame and fortune and he can teach me so much more than I could ever teach him about the world. I can teach him about his inner world, himself and show him how to return to a place that gives him so much comfort. I think he has been hurt as much as I have but in different ways but it’s still hurt and we have these lessons specific to ourselves and we learn and we are able to help others from those painful experiences. He isn’t one of those rich snobby bastards unless someone treats him like shit and then yes he can be a prick.
I am finally accepting that I do love him and I know he loves me and I know one day we shall meet and we will be together as we should be because he is my soulmate and I am his. I think he fears me because he fears being hurt and all I can say is open up hon, let me in and then and only then judge me, judge me for the person I am and I can judge you for the person you are. I think the only difference between him and an average guy is he can spend money like water and he does but I do know he isn’t happy and cannot purchase what he really needs.
It’s so important for me to have his friendship, not his gifts or what he can do for me because I am the one that has a gift for him, one that cannot be purchased. It is the gift of life as it should be, a life that makes him smile when he wakes in the morning, a life of simple happiness and if he feels the only way he can show me who his is, is by trying to impress me then so be it. It would be so embarrassing to me to accept any type of gift from him and I do so hope he can impress me just by being himself.
I love this man and there is no one in this world for me other than him, I cannot have sex with anyone else because I feel as if I were cheating on him and felt that way when I kissed another man. I accept him in his entirety and I love him for who he is, all of him and I just want to see him smile, hear his laugh and run in the rain hand in hand with him. The trip to Nigeria is going to be one of helping me quiet my restless soul and if he so chooses, he can meet me there and if not then so be it.