Love can be a wonderful feeling but I have found so many have a different view of what love is than I do. People say that they “love” the person that is in their lives, they love the way the person thinks of them, they love when they receive gifts from another and they place love in what a person does for them and not what they do for another. Love is so over rated and misunderstood, defined in such a wrong way for so many.
If you love someone than you should put their happiness before yourself, you must be willing to set aside your own ego, wants and desires. You should want to see that person exalted to their very best and you want that person’s happiness at all costs. If you love someone but not in love with them, then you should do all you can to see to their contentment and you should want them to feel that “in love” feeling but most people only think about themselves.
Love can be very selfish and binding if you let it and love means so much more to me than what I see from others. I want to give my love all that they need to be happy with who they are, I want for them to be settled inside themselves and wear their skin with confidence. The sexiest thing anyone can have is confidence in themselves and even if they do not feel confident, they show the world that they are and nothing can stop them when they are on a roll.
I am so confident in my every day life but I am also quite feeling and emotional and have my insecurities as all of us do. People either love me or hate me and more likely than not they tend to love me because I am who they wish they could be in so many ways. I do not have anything that holds me back from calling a spade a spade and I am the one that still opens door for others, help those in need and protect my friends and family with my life.
You may read my postings and think to yourself that this chick is a trip and yet I can be but what I show the world is not who I am inside. I am as delicate as a flower and as tough as titanium but when you meet me I am going to show you someone else because to show what is inside of me is to dangerous, opening up and letting anyone in is a danger as I am so damn easily hurt and take so much to heart. I give until it hurts me and I love unconditionally.
I am always involved with my spiritual side and it is the most important thing about me, at least to me. To be spiritual takes you to another plane of existence and most never delve into their spiritual side and do not possess such understanding. I really like spiritual people because they are so unique and so caring, so affectionate and giving, so understanding and helpful, spiritual people see the world as it is most of the time and that is so rare.
When I enter God’s house I feel such peace, such acceptance and understanding and I feel as if I have been covered in a veil of love that I have never felt in this world. It is my place to regroup, let go and except myself when others cannot and do not. It’s not easy being me because people so misunderstand me, not because I am difficult but because I am such a multi person and I have such few people who love me for who I am and never want me to change.
I am the first one to stand up against injustice and I am the first to tell you to shut the fuck up when you are saying things that will hurt other’s. Deliberately hurting someone is something we have all done but if you live your life just to hurt other’s than you are not in my life or my space. People think I am stupid and I wear that quite well because I am not stupid but yes I act stupid when it serves me, and men yes mostly men think I am stupid.
I so love when a man thinks he is pulling shit over me and I sit there and let them cover me, but I am so fucking fabulous at times that all I do is the “fabulous spin” and their bullshit is flung back onto them, leaving them quite confused and feeling like the fool they really are. Men try to take advantage of me all the time and yes I have been used and abused but I have learned to build my own bullshit bong and let them suck on it.