I so enjoy lieing in bed in the morning and watching as the sun’s shadow dances across the wall and brightens the room, Gabriel, Michael, Khloe and myself slowly wake up with a renewed vigor, a renewed love of life and we are happy, yes we are happy. We play and give kisses, Khloe chases my hand moving under the blanket and the boys jump on her and it is another good day. I love sleeping naked and lately I have been sleeping with my wifebeater on to keep my chest warm.
I move my legs to the side of the bed and as I wake up and stretch I feel so good it is almost scary. I am looking forward to another sunny day, the weather warming and getting things done that I have been working on. I am in a happy place, a great place and I am loving my life for a change. When you have a positive attitude when you wake life is so much better and when you know you are happy with yourself that is when life really shines and things get so much better.
I have been on a “wonder roll”, that is when everything seems wonderful and it has nothing to do with anyone but myself. I do not need a man in my life to make me feel good about myself and that is something I was so confused about for so long. I identified myself through my children and my husband and I got lost in that dismal state for so very long but now that has all changed and I love myself for who I am and I know that I am from a mold that was broken long ago.
Being happy with who you are, where you are at in your life and what you have is paramount to personal happiness and growth. We cannot rely on others to make our world as we would like it and we cannot look to others to give us the self satisfaction that we need. I wake up smiling and laugh throughout the day at silly shit but that’s ok because I am laughing and there has been so many years that there was no laughter, no music in my life but now I hear a new melody everyday, and it feels damn good.