I gave Frankie some boxer briefs one pair of white and one black and he looks so friggin hot in them. He modeled them for us and he looks yummy. Frankie’s sister and I are shopping online for some lingerie and I will send it to her when I get back home. I have shown her some of my pieces and she really likes them.

The ladies and I had a good sex conversation because Frankie’s sister says her sex life is boring and so I told her how to spice it up and the lingerie will really turn her husband on and liven up the bedroom. Frankie wanted me to bring him a strap on but I just could not get the image of two lesbians using it on each other and it just grossed me out.

Im not against gay people but I prefer not to have sexual images of them and it just isn’t for me. Frankie has been so much fun and he is the breath of fresh air I have needed as is his wonderful family. I am sleeping in his bed and he is more than welcome to sleep with me but he will not, I do believe he would have a constant hard on, lol.

It’s been such a lovely trip so far and this country is one everyone should experience there is something so spiritual about this land and I cannot explain it. You must experience it for yourself as it gives you a greater understanding of self. I only have one thing bothering me and that is you son of a bitch, hacking my computer and removing yourself and Frankie from my messenger.

What in the fuck do you think you are doing? You are really pissing me off and I do not have time for your petty jealousy and insecurities. If you don’t know what type of person I really am and how I feel about you then do us both a favor and go fuck yourself, got that?

Fuel Up

I am so damn tired and I keep falling asleep and taking short naps but I cannot help it, it’s more than the jet lag and I have to keep scratching my damn boob where I had the surgery, it itches like crazy and I do not know why. I am constantly on the verge of tears and my emotions are all over the place.

We made homemade egg noodles and chicken and added a Nigerian twist to them by adding spices to the dough, everyone says they like them but I think they are just being polite. I sent Frankie out to get some vanilla ice cream because we are having bananas foster for desert and I so do hope they like it.

I am so appreciative that Frankies sister has let me stay with her family and drive my sorry ass around. My luggage probably will not show up and all my garter belts, panties and such are in there along with my malaria pills and other meds. My feet look like I stole them from Miss Piggy they are so damn swollen and burn.

Frankie has been getting me buckets of water to soak them in and it does help but I cannot even put on sandals they are so swollen. I had my phone activated to work in Nigeria and of course it doesn’t work so Frankie is going to get me a cheap phone because I need to have family therapy with Ryan and is therapist once a week.

The shoulder is hurting like hell as I tore the rotor cuff that was healing and the humidity really causes me so much pain but I am doing lovely. I so love Frankie’s family and it is like being home again, when my family was alive but I do see this house overflowing with love and kindness.

I do believe matters of the heart are playing cruel and unusual games with me and I just am not strong enough to face the truth, the truth is I am a fucking foolish old woman who fell in love with someone who I do not even as much as his true race. So many lies and so many games I am not able to handle.

I know I posted a lot of bullshit about the men in my life but the truth is there are none and haven’t been. I have taken bits and pieces from other people I know and other experiences. It’s like the Mexican mom I speak of, she is a wonderful woman and the mother of my girlfriend. Men are just not in my life because I have had no control over my heart and whom I have chosen to love.

My problem is I am old fashioned and believe in love and yes I am a dreamer but without dreamers the world would never revolve. People call me stupid and dumb but I am neither and I get so pissed when people underestimate me and when they get to know me then and then only do they realize I am so much more.

We will hire a driver to take us to Asaba so it probably be 9-10 pm tonight and I want to meet everyone but I do not know if I will be able to stay awake. I want to lie in his arms and let go of all my pain and worries and just rest with his arms around me making me feel secure for a change, ya I know I am dreaming again.