One More Time

I’m trying the dating sites one more time and I have met a man from poland that I cannot understand, lol and a married guy with a failing marriage. Wow, I can see nothing has changed with online dating and I have not met either in person and have serious reservations about both. I just signed up the other day and of course I get contacted from members that are not full access so of course I am not going full access to contact them. If a guy wants to meet me and he isn’t full access then he isn’t serious.

It’s so damn hard to move on when you have a vision of someone in your head and that vision sticks like glue, all I see is the face of someone I will never meet and I hate myself for it. He is claiming to be bisexual but I really do not believe him, I think he just enjoys fucking with me because he is rich and bored to death. He appears to be 110% all male not into guys at all but who knows? He removed himself from my yahoo which is fine because I really want him out of my life and mind as we shall never cross paths and I have accepted that.

He has pretended to be weak at speaking english and he follows me like a lost dog but refuses to meet me, why he does this shit I have no idea but I do know one thing, he isn’t happy and he could change that but he chooses not to. He likes his relationships to work and he will do most anything to make them work except they never work out and that leaves him heart broken and empty, he is a dreamer and sceamer who likes to hack my computer but has finally realized that I find that to be a serious invasion of privacy.

I do not look at his picture because it hurts me to look at a man who has a smile that never reaches his eyes, I know I can make him laugh and I know he finds me to be an odd duck but a duck he cannot turn away from, yet he refuses to come to my door. He spends his days traveling and addicted to the internet and his nights are lonely and empty as are mine but we seem to continue on now don’t we? We pray for the day that life is happy and fulfilling and we pray for insight and guidance to help us through our troubled times.

I no longer have any hope of ever meeting him and this is for the best because I cannot mold into what he wants and have no desire to do so. I know what I am and what I am not and I make no apologizes for the person I am. He can read about my life everyday and he can say

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