I can feel the solar eclipse of May 10 creeping up on me like a guys hand up my skirt, this is a potent eclipse that brings great changes and it will serve me well in my personal life. I have recently discovered the truth that I have sought for years and it’s time to cut loose a man who I have had so many feelings for, for way to long. I am finally, yes finally closing the door on this dead end relationship, this online fiasco, this invader and controller of my emotions.
I have no regrets but refuse to be his emotional puppet any longer and I am doing what is best for me by forcing myself to meet other men, to move on to someone who will appreciate me, who wants to be with me and who wants to share my life. I can feel the strength of this eclipse pushing me forward and pushing him out of my life, this isn’t a figment of my imagination, this is the truth of truths and the time has finally come for me to move on and for him to continue to be stagnet emotionally.
I do know he will never meet anyone like me because of the world he lives in and the people he surrounds himself with. I am not of his plastic world and have no desire to be part of such a joke of a way of life. I do not hate him but I no longer wish to be part of his cheap entertainment and he has no respect for me what so ever and that is reason enough to get him out of my life. I do not like the games he plays and I find him to be an arrogant, immature fool that doesn’t appreciate me for the person I am.
I am not one to have facial surgery, get my fat sucked or botoxed until I look like a fucking reject and this is the world he lives in, he no doubt has gotten surgery to keep his youthful look and his xwife has her eyes done and she looks like a fucking joke, as most women do when they go under the knife. His wife left him and he doesn’t really have a clue why, he thinks he knows the real reason but I doubt that he understands where he went wrong and he will never understand and will always be lonely.
The eclipse is eclipsing him out of my life for good, there will never be a meeting, a dinner or kind words shared between the two of us because I am finally seeing him for what he is and I do not like what I see one bit. I am so far from perfect but I am real, I am honest and when I say I love you it comes from my core. I am as real as you can get and most people do not want real, they want hearts and flowers and lies, sweet little lies and they are quite happy with settling, well I am not.