As I listen to you speak French, Italian and Spanish all I hear is sadness in your voice and when I look into your eyes I see an emptiness that should not be there. Your hand no longer wears the symbol of marriage and you no longer have a smile that reaches your eyes which is so damn sad. You had it all at one time, fame, wealth, a lovely wife and family and you were happy, so very happy at one time but life flips on us and takes away from us to teach. It pains me so to see you carry such emptiness within your heart and I truly hate seeing you so lost, so empty, so wanting.
Can there not be a single woman in this world that makes your heart race, makes you desire, makes you so fucking happy once again? That is what is missing in your life, real love as you once knew it. I want of nothing from you and that includes ever meeting you because I fear your sadness would swallow me in my entirety because like a chameleon I take on others emotions and that is why I can understand the depth of your pain so well. You appear to be so lost within yourself that you have cut yourself off from the happiness you so deserve.
You spend most of your time on a plane traveling from one country to the next, giving interviews, taking pictures and being there for your fans but I wonder where are your personal cheer leaders? Those that really know you and love you for the person you are? Do you spend your time with your son on planes? Is that how you connect with your children? Do you ever get a chance to take him to a baseball game? Hockey game? Do you get time to just walk on the beach with them?
As I sit here with a heavy heart because of the sadness I feel from you I wonder when you will open yourself up again to real love, when will you laugh in the rain again? When will you just enjoy life instead of chasing after the all mighty dollar? I think you harbor much pain and do not know how to release it into the winds of change and for that I feel so bad for you because you are a very good man in your own right and I just see someone who is lost right now trying to regain their footing.
I have nothing to offer you but myself and right now that is not enough for you and probably never will be but I’m ok with that because I know deep down you are still riding bareback in the fields of your homeland and I know you relish in the soil and appreciate what God has given you. I am nothing more than an online friend to you but I care more for you than you could ever know and I only want to see your smile once again reach your eyes as it used to.
As I have said before I want to see you happy with someone if not me and I know I have no chance with the great B but once again I am good with that because I just care about you, that’s it in a nutshell-I really care and want nothing in return. I so hope you find what it is you need to make your laughter joyous once again and your life fulfilling and I so wish you to catch the moon and the stars and ride a rainbow hand in hand with someone you really do love.