When you love someone, I mean that kind of love that makes you crazy, silly and wild at times how do you show that person how you feel? Do you buy them everything you can afford? Do you show them off to your friends and family? Do you get in their shit when they need it? Do you show your love physically by hugs and kisses? Everyone shows love differently and everyone wants love shown to them differently as well. When I love someone I want to give them the world and do everything I can for them.
When you are raised with no love and affection you either grow up to treat others the same way or you do the complete opposite, which is what I do. I am so damn affectionate and cannot help myself as I want to cook their favorite foods, give them massages, run them a bath and bathe them, hug and kiss them all the time and I love to hold hands. I am the great romantic and I love candles and quiet dinners and I want to see them happy and I want to make their world all they have ever wanted it to be.
I have never had anyone do for me as I have done for them maybe it’s because I have always chosen the wrong men and I have let those men treat me like shit. I no longer allow anyone to disrespect me or treat me poorly because I deserve so much better. I do not know why I have never had real love in my adult life but I know God will not let me be alone forever and I know he watches over me. When people get to know me, really know me they find that I am always there for them if they mean anything to my life.
I have learned to live in the moment and grab the brass ring when I can because I had only a month with my husband before he died and that month flew by. So many want to much in this life but all I want is to be loved and be happy and I do not need material shit to make me happy. I have learned that life is so very short and to enjoy it while we can and I know there is one special person out there that would appreciate what I have to offer and how much love I have to give.