Everyone is needy to a certain point as we crave emotional connections, love, understanding and so on but not all people are needy as far as life goes. I for one do not need anyone to help me live my life or fill the empty side of the bed. There is a huge difference between needy and wanting and I am wanting to be involved in a relationship as that is where I grow and shine in my eyes. Needy people are a turn off and those that cannot get their needs met sometimes act out in unorthodox ways.
Women tend to want a man to support them, give them children, be a “perfect” husband and leader while men want a woman who is fun, witty, spontaneous and sexually open to a certain degree. Men get bored quickly with the woman who is always crying foul or is to damn clingy and cannot let them be themselves. Everyone plays a role when they meet for the first time always putting their best foot forward but the truth of the matter is all that falls to the side when two people become comfortable with each other.
Both sexes are attracted to the same type of personality over and over and the basis for this is the opposite parent. If your father was a “mousy” type of man who is what a woman will look for in a mate and if a man’s mother was a very strong and dominant personality then the man looks for that in his choice of mate. When you do not have an opposite sex parent in your life then you are kind of stuck with the personality traits that the one parent has. I look for a strong, independent, self assured type of person because that is the personality traits of my mother.
I have a very strong personality, sense of self, independent, self assured in most cases type of personality so I can not tolerate a weak man. A person that is always giving in, has no fight in themselves and let’s others walk all over them on a day to day basis is a huge turn off for me. I have let people walk all over me because my self image was destroyed long ago but I am rebuilding it brick by brick and my spouse played a key part in the demise of my ego. The people who are important in our lives can easily make or break us as we value their opinions even when they are negative.
Everyone goes through times of doubting ourselves, being insecure, lost and we are not the usual person most know in good times. A demise of any close relationship affects us in different ways and can destroy a part of us we once knew. The one thing that we do not know about ourselves is that once we make it through the storm we come out so much stronger and really do know ourselves so much better than before and believe it or not once we get past those first two years of the relationship demise, we can see so much clearer where we truly want and need to be in our lives.