Watching And Waiting

Tell me did I hit a nerve Joe? Must have as you deleted your profile on fb because I got to close to home and it hurt now didn’t it? Well, it hurt to be set up and for me to fly to NY and you no doubt either watched me get off the plane or you watched me at the hotel. Give it up Gabe because you are too afraid to meet me as you fear me calling you out, you are not used to someone like me, someone who doesn’t care if you are a billionaire, someone who doesn’t care if you are famous and someone who doesn’t care if she meets you or not.

You have family, surrounded yourself with “friends” that are only their for the ride and people who are only in your life for your money and what you can do for them. I want nothing from you, nope not a single thing and my heart actually aches for you because you are the loneliest person that I have ever come across. Irina tore you up because you didn’t give her what she needed, yes you gave her every material she could ever have wanted and more but when my dear will you learn money cannot buy or keep love?

When are you going to quit obsessing about me? Your behavior makes me wonder if you realize how creepy you are being? You do not want to be seen with someone like me because I do not fit neatly where you prefer to keep me like everyone else. When is the last time you cleaned a toilet? Washed a dish? Did your own laundry? Been a hell of a long time hasn’t it because you buy people and have forgotten what it is like to take care of yourself and the games you play with yourself are not healthy.

You will never have a relationship like you did when you first got married and you will never meet anyone in your circle that loves you for yourself because you have seduced everyone with money. You fear anyone who will treat you as an equal and you fear being called out on your creepy behavior. If you ever grow up and want to meet me I would accept you for who you are and no I am not in love with you and have come to care for you because I know only to well the pain you have been through since Irina left.

I do not like to see anyone hurt but that is what opens our eyes to our own faults and you my dear need to seek some serious help for your obsession with me. You do realize rereading my posts 20+ times is obsessive behavior and not healthy, do you not? You  are to intelligent not to realize what you are doing and you no longer know how to just be yourself without putting on airs and showing off in one form or another. I’m not one to easily be impressed and I am not one to sell myself for the all mighty dollar and that is what puzzles you so as you cannot figure me out.

There’s really nothing to figure out about me as I am an open book and when you have absolutely no family then what you have no longer has any meaning because you have no one to share it with. When times get tough you have no one you can totally trust and you have no one to share the good or bad with. It’s that simple, nothing to figure out if you understand the psychology of human beings everything is really quite simple. You do not fascinate me and the only thing about you that I wonder is why you find me so appealing.

I cannot help you as you refuse to show yourself to me but that is your choice as I move on and will eventually meet someone who makes me happy. I am not waiting for you as I no longer believe you would ever take the time to meet me face to face. It doesn’t hurt me and no you cannot buy me like everyone else so how do I have your obsession? Why do you wish to hurt me? Because Irina hurt you so damn bad you cannot see straight? I’m sorry but it’s karma hon.

It’s time for you to let go of me and find a real person that will give you what you need and hopefully you can find that person soon because life is so very short but you wouldn’t know about that would you? You haven’t had to suffer or go without since you were nineteen, which was eons ago. If you are involved and not happy get out and find yourself as you need to be alone to rediscover who you really are and what you want to do with the remainder of your life.