Lost In The Mind

So you pick up your girlfriend and fly her to the country you currently live in, no doubt cambridge ma. Then you fly to Australia to pick up your son, nice little family you have there now isn’t it. You fuck your girlfriend while you fantasize that she is me because the truth is you want me but can’t have me. Bet she has no idea when you fuck her that I am the one you wish you were fucking and she is nothing but a stand in for me. Hehehehehehe, now isn’t that funny?

She is nothing but a warm cunt for you to fuck as you touch her body you are wishing it was mine, as you kiss her you wish those were my lips, when you suck on her nipples and feel her breasts you are thinking of me, now aren’t you? Hehehehehe, the thing is replacing me with her will never happen and you damn well know it so what are you going to do with yourself? Tell me is she up for a threesome? a little kink? Bet you are to damn afraid to ask her, bet you would NEVER cross that line with your princess.

If she only knew the truth she would drop you so damn fast your head would spin but you are the great actor of all time, the biggest bullshitter and she has bought into that. She has sold herself like a common whore for what you have bought her, given her. Tell me do you pay her bills to? Do you buy her clothes as well? Hehehehehe, bet you do and I bet having your own little whore makes you feel so good about yourself. Believe me one day she will walk out of your life and she will be laughing all the way. Hehehehehhe

You can’t even go forty eight hours without seeing what I have written, looking at my pics and wanting me. Hehehehehe I know you are calling me a bitch right now and you will get me back but what you do not realize is you made me the bitch I am and as far as the dating sites I already know it’s you or the scammers and I do not fall for your or their shit. HEHEHEHEHEHE Tell me does she enjoy watching Nascar with you or does it bore her pretty little head?

Do you get to see her in lingerie? Does she paint her nails red? Play up to Shamel? Use him like a fucking pawn to show you how much she loves the “both of you”? Do not fool yourself into thinking she accepts him because she would love to have him out of the picture and have you all to herself, o ya that is the fucking truth even if you refuse to accept it. She loves the shit you buy her and the things you do for that pussy but just remember that pussy has been fucked by many before you buried your face into it. So enjoy HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Shamel probably isn’t even your son because Irina was fucking someone else long ago before she dumped you. O yes she was and he doesn’t look a damn thing like you one bit and I bet Irina is so damn happy while you are not happy and never will be. I am such a mean and cruel bitch now aren’t I?? Well, you have built up these emotions in me and now you can taste them as they are shoved down your throat past the last cock you sucked and took up the ass.

Hate me now? Good that is exactly what I want you to do, hate me with every ounce of your being and btw your girlfriend isn’t true to you, nope she is fucking another as you jet around the world because you do not give her what she needs, just like Irina did. Now what will you do next? Continue to hack my computer? Fuck with me on the dating sites? Do you think I care one bit? I do not because you have bigger problems than me o yes you do much bigger and you enjoy your empty, shallow life.

I tried to be your friend but I can see this isn’t possible so I no longer want to be anything for you-I have turned my back on you and am walking away just like Irina did, we are smart women and can see you are not worth our time or trouble. You bet off on hurting people because Irina has hurt you, well to bad buddy live with and move the fuck on, go buy your pussy and friends and enjoy them because when you are old and grey you will have NOBODY THAT LOVES OR CARES FOR YOU.

Next Level

One of the happiest moments of my life is seeing my daughter graduate from high school and move onto college. It’s so rewarding watching our children go after their dreams, go after the brass ring of their lives. No, I did not help her, buy her way into school or use my personal influence to help her. I have never believed in parents paving the way for their children because that takes something away from the child and they do not get to feel their accomplishments, yes all on their own.

Shelby attended an over night orientation at the school and she is so excited to meet new people and learn something new. The only thing that concerns me about her is her ability to hide herself in high education and work instead of dealing with the loss of her dad. Capricorns are generally very focused and hard workers and she is no exception but not dealing with her father’s death is something that I am afraid will come back to bite her in the ass.

She hides her pain by being an over achiever and hiding herself in extra curricular activities like she did in high school. I am here for her when she falls and maybe she never will fall but the loss of her dad, well that is only something she can deal with. Ryan is home for the weekend and he is finally dealing with the way his dad treated him, as if he didn’t matter, as if he was a nobody. Ryan has accepted that his dad had his own issues and lost himself when he lost his leg.

Ryan is above intelligence and the education at the hospital is so below him he is bored to tears. I will be registering him for high school next month because I am hoping the courts let him come home as we are doing so much better communicating and sharing our feelings. I have never treated either of my kids as if one were better than the other but my husband did and that really hurt Ry. I’m no longer afraid of Ryan and do not believe he will hurt me but then again I am one to forgive, especially my children.

The dating sites hold nothing but scammers and Gabriel pretending to be someone else and for some unknown reason he doesn’t want me to be happy, he doesn’t want me to have love in my life. Maybe I have said things to him that have really upset him or hurt him deeply, maybe I have hit the nail on the head one to many times and he doesn’t appreciate it. He doesn’t wish to meet me just follow and harass me, stalking me and that has got to stop. He has never been there for me and never will so I have finally closed that door and am moving on.

I think he is so used to others falling over themselves to accommodate him that he cannot understand why I refuse to bend for him. Not everyone is about material things and money and not everyone gets off on rubbing elbows with the rich and famous. I had never given it any thought about his net worth and I was reading that he is a billionaire and that explains so much to me about him as he has bought things and people since his early twenties. The one thing he couldn’t buy was his wifes love when he became emotionally distant from his family and this my friend has everything to do with how he values himself and probably why he follows me like he does.

My counselor has suggested that I close off all contact with him because he is obsessed and doesn’t see me for who I am, only what he prefers to see and I must agree with him. He has also told me that there is a possibility that Gabriel could one day show up and get physical or try to hurt me as this is common with stalkers. Gabriel isn’t living in the here and now and that concerns me but not enough to continue to let him try to keep me from meeting other men and dating.

He is off with his son and girlfriend or boyfriend and having a good time and that is where he should keep his focus, on real relationships. He no doubt will eventually marry his girlfriend and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if they haven’t set the date already. She sees him as a perfect catch because of his finances and she doesn’t live with him I am sure but that is what he should be doing is sharing his life with her on a day to day basis to see if this is what he really wants. He needs to be in a relationship because he is so in love with love but does he see the person as they really are? I do not believe he does.