I have friends that are involved with someone after they have been through a hellish divorce and yes they like that person and their kids like the person as well. The thing that bothers me is the relationship isn’t a real relationship as my friends use these men as sitters for their children. I ended a twenty year relationship with a friend over this because I didn’t think that it was right that she stays out all night bowling and getting drunk only to leave her children with this man.
She was also fucking this man when her husband was dieing and yes he was her husband’s best friend. Her kids were very young at the time and “edge” as he was called was always at the house with my friends husband. I understand what happens to a relationship when one is sick and dieing and yes the sex goes out the window. I do not agree with fucking someone else when your spouse is dieing and I do not care if it is several years without sex as it was with “Becky”.
We ran into each other a while back and all she did was brag about how well her one daughter was doing in school and I congratulated her of course. I never discussed how either of my children were doing because I need not brag to make someone have respect for me. I lost all respect for her when she cheated on her dieing husband and I still cannot understand how she could fuck his bestfriend in her marriage bed while he laid in the hospital dieing. I have experienced the same thing but never once thought about fucking someone when my husband was dieing.
Yes, all of us have physical needs, the need to be touched by another, the need to be loved but it’s called priorities and hers just wasn’t with her husband as it should have been or at least in my opinion. I have a clear set of boundaries, morals and standards that I do not steer away from for anybody and cheating, well cheating really bothers me because it shows a lack of self respect and respect for your significant other. It is one thing to make it clear that you want to see other people but when you are married there is no room for another.
There is nothing wrong with dating more than one person at a time but when it involves sex well I am not down for that as I believe in sex with one and one only. When a relationship becomes sexual then it should not involve dating another as well, but then again that is my opinion and how I roll. If you are dating someone exclusively and want to date someone else then you need to have the talk with the one you have been exclusive with and unfortunately, if you want to be with someone else then you already know that you are going nowhere in the relationship you are in.
I do not think people want to leave a relationship to hurt someone else but by staying we are hurting everyone involved and cheating everyone out of the real happiness that awaits for them. The worse thing you can do is be in a relationship because you fear being alone. Being alone is a good thing as we learn so much about ourselves and what we really want out of life and we do find out things about ourselves that we never knew before being all alone.
When we are alone we become stronger individuals and we do not compromise ourselves for others, we are able to see people for who and what they are and we build inner confidence. When we lose our spouses we become very needy individuals and we try to fill that void as soon as possible because it is so painful to be alone that first year. What we do not realize is we are hurting and hurting anyone we get involved with but some people just cannot be alone.