A Little Rain Must Fall

It has been raining, no actually pouring like crazy this past week and Mercury went retrograde on the 26th so what do you think has happened? Of course, by roof of 14 yrs. has decided to leak into my master bedroom and bath. I patched it but then later realized that the entire ceiling was no doubt damaged. I called a roofing company to tarp it before it rained yesterday and yes once again it poured but didn’t get into the house. The roofer went up into the attic and wouldn’t you know his leg went through my bedroom ceiling.


The insurance company is coming tomorrow morning to assess the damage and give the ok to repair the roof and ceiling. I felt bad for the guy because he said it was the first time he had gone through a ceiling, lol. I didn’t get mad or upset because once again good old Mercury is in her rare mode. She demands, repair, replace and redo for the next month so here I am repairing and replacing as she demands. Mercury is a lesson teacher in many ways as she teaches us to have patience and go with the flow or be upset and pissed for a month.

 She rules all types of communication, mechanical, large purchases and electronics so when she is retrograde expect to have mail get lost, we do not notice the “fine print” on contracts, things break down, miscommunication between individuals, large purchases generally must be returned as well as computer equipment, your car will have problems if there has been something going wrong it will show itself at this time. People should never break up because they will end up revisiting the relationship and who wants to revisit something they want to walk away from for good? I know when I want a relationship to end I definitely do not want to revisit and get back together. So I make sure the timing is right because I do not want to give anyone false hope of reuniting with them.

On a more positive note, Ryan is doing so much better but he still has his issues as all of us do but I think he will do better once school starts again. I am not going to put him back into a Catholic school because the principal picked on Ryan and that made things so much worse. He will go to public school which actually has so much more to offer him and I think he will do better and gain friends. He’s a good person which has been through hell and back and his dad has left some pretty deep wounds on Ryan and I can do nothing about those wounds.

Our children never show us what really hurts them and they hide it rather well pretending that all is good but the truth is as a parent that would not engage with Ryan, Bob really made Ry feel inferior and unloved. Bob had all the time in the world to change this but he just wouldn’t so Ry has to live with what feels like being unloved by his own father. Children want their parents to be happy and they will lie to us and say they like our new gf or bf when the truth is they do not want that individual around because they need and want that one on one with us.

Children do not want a “stranger” in their lives and yes that is what happens when people die or divorce, they meet someone knew and bring them into their children’s life without looking deeper into their child’s feelings. No child wants to spend time with their parents new partner no matter how much they say it’s ok, it’s not ok and it leaves marks on the child. Children are given only so much time with their parents and they want that time to count for something so if you are one to have a relationship with someone new don’t bring them into your child’s life to soon because your child wants you not them but so many people are selfish and self centered.

And then we have my lawsuit, when I was really ill I gave a guy 30 grand to build me a website which was supposed to be a conglomerate not just a site. He chose to give me nothing so I have had to sue him and the other day the lawsuit panel but a value of only 10 grand on my suit so I denied it and have a settlement hearing next month and court the end of the month. I will not settle with this asshole for what they want to settle for and I am ready to go to court because he took advantage of me and never gave me anything for my money.

Other than those minor troubles life is good, I am good and healthy and my meds reduced to only two which basically says I have beaten the bipolar madness. I am finding out more and more people have been diagnosed with this illness and like me they do not want anyone to know until they have built a good foundation. Just as I have, they fear that they will be judged immediately and never given a chance to show the person that they really are. I no longer worry about my actions because they are not based on my illness but the situation itself and I know people are ignorant and fear what they do not understand so I keep my cards close to my chest and people accept me for the person I am not the illness I have. 


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