When we are attracted to someone after losing our mate we slip and slide as if we have stepped on a banana peel as we gain our footing and confidence we slowly build upon the relationship and we enjoy ourselves. Sex generally quickly enters the relationship and that makes us feel so good to know that we are sexually attractive. When we get on this type of high we cannot get enough of the other person and as we get to know them we begin to build a scenario in our minds.
We either say to ourselves “this person is fun and the sex is good so I will enjoy the ride” and then after some time the person begins to show their real colors and we see the things we do not particularly care for. It doesn’t take long before we realize this is “it” or this is just fun and we take it for what it is worth. We spend time with that person and as we absorb their compliments and the nice things they do for us we begin to wonder about the future of the relationship.
Women tend to tell a man that she loves him long before he says it and the truth is it isn’t love at all but the desire to seek security from the man. When a man tells you he loves you, you have to question if he means he really “loves” you or does he feel an obligation to say the words in return for you telling him you love him. When someone tells you they love you one of two things happens, you either feel very uncomfortable and dance around responding or you tell them you love them even if you do not mean it and if you mean it the other person will know it.
You spend time at each other’s home and slowly they leave their personal items with you such as a toothbrush, deodorant and then clothing starts to hang in your closet. Women do this especially because they assume that having her personal items in your home will somehow keep you from bringing another woman home or if you do the woman will see the items and realize you are in a committed relationship. Once the clothes start hanging in the closet is when it becomes difficult to make the split.
Once you reach the point that you are questioning the future is when you begin to think of either being with the person forever or breaking it off with them. This is emotional time as we go back and forth in our heads trying to figure out what to do with the relationship. Do you want to continue to “play” or do you want to find something more fulfilling? How do you end the relationship without hurting the person? Well, someone is going to be hurt regardless so you must expect that to bring about reactions that you do not want to deal with and would like to avoid at all costs.
You feel guilty for a while but that passes as well and every time your phone rings or you get a text you hope it is not from that person. This is all normal but heartbreak is still heartbreak and we always feel bad when we hurt someone, that is if we have any feelings at all for the person. It is hard to maintain a friendship with the person because you know they have deeper feelings for you and you do not feel the same way and do not want to lead them on. The best way to deal with a split is cut off all communication no matter how difficult it is because it actually helps both parties to heal and to resume their lives but if you have been together for a while then there is no doubt personal items of each other’s at each other’s home.