We are attracted to people by their personality traits and our one on one relationships are based that way as well. I could be with the most gorgeous, well built man but if he doesn’t have the traits I am looking for then there will be no relationship. The type of man I look for is one that intelligent, funny, caring, will listen to me, willing to help me when I need it but let’s me help myself first.
I look for a man who will actually listen to me and give me good advice, someone who will hold me when I cry and kick me in the ass when I need it. You may say to yourself “she shouldn’t have a problem finding a man like that” but the truth is it isn’t that easy, not at all. I need a man who has charisma, drive, ambition but he will always be himself and share with me his troubles and problems as well.
I have been dating someone who I really like but that is all, I like him and I know we will never be more than we are because he doesn’t have that electricity I need to feel to be with someone on a deeper level. We haven’t had sex because I am not attracted to him enough to engage in sexual pleasures with him. We had a long talk last night and came to the conclusion that we are better off friends so we have parted as friends.
I so want to meet the man who has that electricity I need, the charisma and the laughter. I need someone who is fun and will be silly with me because when someone can let themselves go that is when you see the real person. So many try to impress but do not show themselves and that is such a turn off to me and most men want to get laid asap they do not care about you just getting in your pants.
I know one day I will meet the perfect person for me but until then I will continue to dream, hope and pray for that special one even if I look like a fool. I will never give up my hopes and dreams and I will never shut down when I meet someone who makes me smile. I am finally ready for a relationship that will be healthy and happy but it has taken a long time to drop all the baggage that has held me back.

The Broken Hearted

When someone breaks our heart they do more than just that as they break our spirit as well. We are no longer the same person and even our children see the change. Our children want to protect us and make everything better and they will do anything to see their parents happy again. My son’s heart has been broken for several years and when he lost his dad he lost himself.
We do not realize that our children become our guides and all they want is to love us, spend time with us and share themselves with us. We are broken and we try to fix ourselves with relationships that are not meaningful and our children want just us and not an intruder. We try to mend ourselves by bringing someone into our lives and we do not think about the effect that has on our children.
Children of a broken relationship give so much to us but we cannot see it for our own pain colors our world. My son is a teenager and I see the pain in his eyes, I see the loss, the emptiness and this is what happens to our children. They need us and only us to help color their world pretty again and people fool themselves and think it’s fine to bring someone new into their world but we are fools when we do that.
The loss of a relationship is devastating to our children more so than us as they lose the security they have always known and have to rely on. It’s so important to help our children rebuild as well as ourselves and we want to share our life with someone so bad we neglect to take a good look at our children and how the loss has affected them. Children lie really well and they tell us everything is fine when it isn’t fine, not one damn bit.
It takes time to heal and that includes our children and the biggest mistake we make is to bring someone into our children’s lives to soon. We need to heal somewhat first and then start over with someone else but we must remember to keep that person distant from our children for quite some time. Bringing another into the parent/child relationship to soon does more damage than we could ever imagine and our children need us and us alone for quite a while because they need to feel secure again.