The Mind Gamer

People play mind games with each other for various reasons but a man will  do this because he is  emotionally insecure would definitely play mind games with that woman that he’s wooing. He’s not exactly sure what he’s actually feeling so while he’s assessing himself, he would rather play mind games first. Rather than allow the woman to see his emotional insecurity, he deems it best to puzzle her.

It’s also a form of control, the one thing they can control when they have little or no control over their own lives. Men that play these kind of games think they are intriguing and mysterious when the fact is they are become boring and the woman will look elsewhere for companionship. I do not enjoy mind games and do not play them and no longer participate with someone who enjoyed playing with me.

I finally found a man who doesn’t play mind games and wants to be with me and enjoys my company. I no longer seek a relationship with someone who I once was very attracted to because he has made himself elusive and obviously is to insecure to meet me so I have moved on. I now have real arms around me, real kisses and kind words and I now have a man who I never in a million years thought would take a second look at me.

Yes, he is wealthy but that doesnt make me attracted to him and yes he has tried to spend large amounts of money on me only to be turned down. He hasn’t pushed sex on me and has accepted the fact that I will have sex when I am ready and not before. He has asked me to be his travel partner as he travels quite frequently and he also realizes I have a minor child that I am responsible for and he has made every effort to spend time with me on my terms.

He flys in when he can and we spend time just laughing and having a great time and I have had him over for dinner. He really appreciated a home cooked meal and my plate of cookies and yes I baked cookies and shit because I am finally happy. He so loved my deserts that he wants me to open a business but that would be to time consuming and I wouldn’t have time for him.

He was surprised when he saw my bedroom which has nothing in it other than a mattress on a steel frame and my  sauna and he wanted to buy me a new bedroom set but I said no. I do not want to buy a new set until I move because I do not want more furniture than I need. He wants to give me the world but I do not want it and that frustrates him as he is used to buying things for the women that have been in his life.

 He’s coming in later tonight and we will just hang out at his hotel because I don’t want him meeting my kids as of yet. I believe in protecting my children as much as possible and even though I really like Francisco it is just to early to introduce him to my kids. They know I am dating someone but that is all they know until I am ready to tell them more or let them meet him.

He doesn’t play mind games because he is a very secure man who doesn’t need to control every aspect of his life and he as well as I are allowing things to fall as they may, without the games. It is so refreshing to date someone who knows what they want out of life and they know who and what they are and they appreciate those around them and in their lives.

Everyone Does It

I know it is wrong but all of us are guilty of doing it, what is this it you might ask? Well, it’s jumping to conclusions or making assumptions and I have done just that recently. Francisco wasn’t treating someone the right way in my opinion and so I ended up giving him the cold shoulder until we finally sat down and talked about “what my problem was”.

He said to me, you know things were really heating up between us and then the deep freeze came out of nowhere so would you like to explain to me what is bothering  you? So, we sat down and had a nice chat and he explained a few things that I was totally unaware of. Once we talked it was quite easy for me to validate his behavior and to eat some crow.

I feel like such an ass for not talking to him before making an assumption and I think I am learning that communication is the key to making good relationships and misunderstandings would be far and few between if we just spoke to each other and actually listened. It’s been so long since I have been alone it’s hard to adjust to another person being around but when I do see him it’s fun.

The difference between dating a man and dating a woman is a woman will slowly move her shit in without you even noticing, she will go through your medicine cabinet, your nightstand, cellphone, personal papers, you name it because most women are really insecure. Now a man, hell he won’t waste his time doing that shit but he will pay attention if he feels threatened in any way.

This dating is for the birds but is actually beginning to be quite a bit of fun and I think I like dating and getting out and about for a change. Even though he works a hell of a lot he has made time to talk to me everyday and to skype which makes me very happy. There are no games with him, no bullshit, no lies as far as I can tell and I do hope we keep moving in the direction we are currently headed.

The Last Thirty

I was taking a pee and started thinking as I always do when on the toilet, lol. I started thinking about the last thirty days I would have on this earth and how I would spend it and how my husband spent his. He knew he only had thirty days to live, to see his wife and children, to sleep in his home, watch his grass grow and so on. So how would you spend your last thirty days?

No, you do not get to win the lottery, be a super hero or the president, you can only be who you are in day to day life. What would you do? Would you go sky diving? Would you run up your credit cards buying things for those you love? Would you meet the person you have always wanted to be with? What would you do with those last thirty days? Have you given it any thought? I doubt that you have as most people do not look at the end of their lives.

I think back to how my husband spent his last thirty days and he spent them trying to fulfill all of his promises and take care of his family. He asked me why I didn’t spend time with him as he lay in his death bed and my stock answer was I had to take care of the house and the kids. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that with each passing day I saw him dwindle into nothingness, watching the man who I had admired disappear, watching him fade into darkness.

I believe we do the best we can while we are here and yes we make mistakes, do stupid shit and say even dumber things to others but we still try to do out best. It must have been as much if not more mental torture for my husband to count his days as each morning faded into nightfall, leaving him with one less day  of life. I cannot even imagine what he was feeling but he spent the last thirty with those he loved, in his own home and he ate food prepared just for him.

Several years prior to my husband’s demise a neighbor had colon cancer and the last month of her life I was able to give her the gift from my heart. Baking is a gift I love to give and she couldn’t keep anything down but the panna cotta I made for her everyday. She so loved it as it was light and she was able to keep it down and that my friends is what loving someone is about. Giving to them from your heart and that is what I did for her and my husband.

So, now why don’t you sit back and think about your last thirty days and how you would spend them, who you would spend them with and what you would do with that limited time frame. We never know when our last thirty will be and most of us will not even know it when it hits us, the hour of our death, so I think we really should examine what is in our hearts and go after it before our last thirty is gone.